Bryanna,
I am apart of your new comment on blogs group! Isn't that great news?! Anyways, i obviously read your blog and first off really like your questions. I especially got hooked on the third question which basically questioned how did surrondings people's actions affect those who were going through pregnancy. This, including the answers in which your interviewees gave show that pregnancy and birth very much welcomes a support system, as it is a big deal and change in our lifetime. Overall great job!
Ally,
I'm apart of your new read blogs and comment them group. I read your HW 37 and liked your questions overall, especially the one asking what the interviewees did while they were pregnant and how they felt on a daily basis. It really gives you sort of an idea of what they were going through for those long 9 months. Great blog post!
Monday, February 28, 2011
HW 36- Pregnancy and Birth Stories
The first person I interviewed was my mother. She said the pregnancy of both of her kids were all worth the 9 months of changed lifestyle and change of self both physically and mentally. She says that pregnancy and birth is a beautiful thing and that it definitely gives life perspective and meaning because once you go through the experience of giving birth to a child and adding life to the world, you just feel that something special is happening.
I liked how my mom mentioned that once you give birth, you just feel that something special is happening. I think feeling that special moment is something sacred and that its more of a privilege to feel something as universal as the feeling of adding life to the world. Its something that can change your outlook in life and that you're unable to know how until it actually happens.
My second person I interviewed was my cousin. Unlike my mother, my cousin was actually pretty nervous during the majority of her pregnancy. Although she had our entire family as a support system, she still says she constantly was worried about how well she would fit in the society of motherhood. In addition to that, the physical and mental changes during pregnancy were things she didn't exactly adapt to easily. However, once her first child was born, she says that all the struggle and practical agony she had gone through for the majority of a year just seemed to vanish into thin air.
Similar to my cousin, a lot of women seem to go through a lot of struggle during the term of pregnancy. In fact, its almost essential to expect the worse is to come. But I admired when my cousin admitted that it was worth it in the end as her child was finally brought into the world because of what she had gone through. Its almost like the biggest reward for working hard.
The third person I decided to interview was another cousin of mine. However, to get a new perspective, I decided to interview a father of two boys. Beforehand, I thought this would be interesting because most people wouldn't think about the father's view of the whole scenario of pregnancy and birth. When asked about the births of his children, he flatly said that those were two of the best moments of his life.When recalling his sons separate birthdays, he recalls "feeling a feeling that was indescribable" and that hes thankful of his family even today.
My male cousin pushed that specific feeling pregnancy and birth even further as he recalled the day his sons were born. Its a feeling that's unforgettable and once in a lifetime (unless you have multiple kids).
These interviews gave me an opportunity to get a couple of inside perspectives of what goes on behind the curtain on the subject of birth. While it gives me thoughts and ideas, I still feel that I will never feel the feeling of what birth is all about until I'm married and am by her side as she brings a child into the world
I liked how my mom mentioned that once you give birth, you just feel that something special is happening. I think feeling that special moment is something sacred and that its more of a privilege to feel something as universal as the feeling of adding life to the world. Its something that can change your outlook in life and that you're unable to know how until it actually happens.
My second person I interviewed was my cousin. Unlike my mother, my cousin was actually pretty nervous during the majority of her pregnancy. Although she had our entire family as a support system, she still says she constantly was worried about how well she would fit in the society of motherhood. In addition to that, the physical and mental changes during pregnancy were things she didn't exactly adapt to easily. However, once her first child was born, she says that all the struggle and practical agony she had gone through for the majority of a year just seemed to vanish into thin air.
Similar to my cousin, a lot of women seem to go through a lot of struggle during the term of pregnancy. In fact, its almost essential to expect the worse is to come. But I admired when my cousin admitted that it was worth it in the end as her child was finally brought into the world because of what she had gone through. Its almost like the biggest reward for working hard.
The third person I decided to interview was another cousin of mine. However, to get a new perspective, I decided to interview a father of two boys. Beforehand, I thought this would be interesting because most people wouldn't think about the father's view of the whole scenario of pregnancy and birth. When asked about the births of his children, he flatly said that those were two of the best moments of his life.When recalling his sons separate birthdays, he recalls "feeling a feeling that was indescribable" and that hes thankful of his family even today.
My male cousin pushed that specific feeling pregnancy and birth even further as he recalled the day his sons were born. Its a feeling that's unforgettable and once in a lifetime (unless you have multiple kids).
These interviews gave me an opportunity to get a couple of inside perspectives of what goes on behind the curtain on the subject of birth. While it gives me thoughts and ideas, I still feel that I will never feel the feeling of what birth is all about until I'm married and am by her side as she brings a child into the world
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
HW 35 - Other Peoples' Perspectives 1
Here are people around my age's thoughts and perspectives about birth and the topics surronding it:
Anthony: Birth is most definitly a big deal man. Once you have a kid...you're fucked. haha, but seriously, having a baby is a life changing process. You are in crontrol of an additional life besides your own, how crazy is that? I also believe that the birth of a baby is something that is beautiful, and something that may even cannot be described.
Amanda: Birth is a beautiful thing. Not necessarily the sight of it but the idea of a complete innocent entering the world. When a baby is born, then they affect the lives of many people and can even grow...
I've had a couple of small talks on this topic with other people too and here's what I've seen. Birth, no matter what kind of POV people may have, is indeed a big deal. It's not just something you can slide to the side, its a life changing deal. In some cases, it can be a "beautiful thing", and other times, you can "be fucked". But in the end, birth is something thats very real and shouldn't be taken anything less than serious.
I'm sticking to my idea in class when i said that when a woman gets pregnant, she becomes precious, almost fragile being that she has a new life inside of her. She goes from being another person, to a sacred individual who should do nothing but take it easy and rest and have people wait on her at all times for the upcoming 9 months.
Anthony: Birth is most definitly a big deal man. Once you have a kid...you're fucked. haha, but seriously, having a baby is a life changing process. You are in crontrol of an additional life besides your own, how crazy is that? I also believe that the birth of a baby is something that is beautiful, and something that may even cannot be described.
Amanda: Birth is a beautiful thing. Not necessarily the sight of it but the idea of a complete innocent entering the world. When a baby is born, then they affect the lives of many people and can even grow...
I've had a couple of small talks on this topic with other people too and here's what I've seen. Birth, no matter what kind of POV people may have, is indeed a big deal. It's not just something you can slide to the side, its a life changing deal. In some cases, it can be a "beautiful thing", and other times, you can "be fucked". But in the end, birth is something thats very real and shouldn't be taken anything less than serious.
I'm sticking to my idea in class when i said that when a woman gets pregnant, she becomes precious, almost fragile being that she has a new life inside of her. She goes from being another person, to a sacred individual who should do nothing but take it easy and rest and have people wait on her at all times for the upcoming 9 months.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Extra Credit for Semester
Luckily for me, my mother happens to work in a senior center, where she does multiple jobs such as conference calls, coordinating activities, being a chaperone on multiple field trips, etc. I usually go to my moms job at least once a week and I have also interned there last year. I know most of the seniors there either personally or through my mother. Now knowing the atmosphere of this particular senior center and having to connect it to the Illness and Dying unit, it comes as a challenge because this senior center is actually the opposite of what you'd expect a senior center to be.
Being in this place with a bunch of retired seniors, you would think from no previous experience that being in there would be nothing more than depressing, but that's not the case at all. In fact, the majority of the seniors in this venter just so happen to be legit happy people. This center provides multiple activities for the seniors to take part in. There's yoga, arts and crafts, movie days, various games, among many other things. SO it's no surprise to me that as I walk through this center, I see nothing but old, smiling faces.
The Illness and Dying unit had us explore what goes through a typical human mind and life when Illness and Death is forced into our lives. How does it change us emotionally, physically, mentally? What can we do to stop these negative things from happening? Do we fear Illness? Death? For me to go into this senior center, especially after going through this unit, I would think that with my new mindset, I would really see past these elders and see their actual sadness deep down inside. But honestly, I saw none whatsoever.
Then I got to thinking, sadness and sorrow doesn't have to be the only way to deal with Ilness, Dying or both for that matter. In fact, duing the unit we read a book that relates to these topics called "Tuesdays with Morrie". Of the many lessons I got out of this book, there's a quote that really grabbed me that I believe ALL people should live by. This quote makes me understand why these seniors are not sad and depressed about Dying, but are actually the complete opposite. The quote is " If you learn how to Die, you learn how to Live". This quote really did get my attention. It made me realize that fearing death takes so much negative energy and time that it can actually steal away quality time you have in your life. It made me relaize why these seniors are happy and are enjoying their lives without even giving too much serious thought to Illness and Dying. What these seniors and what that quote has proved to me even further, is that we all need to just live our lives and take on Illness and Dying full on IF it comes, God forbidding.
Being in this place with a bunch of retired seniors, you would think from no previous experience that being in there would be nothing more than depressing, but that's not the case at all. In fact, the majority of the seniors in this venter just so happen to be legit happy people. This center provides multiple activities for the seniors to take part in. There's yoga, arts and crafts, movie days, various games, among many other things. SO it's no surprise to me that as I walk through this center, I see nothing but old, smiling faces.
The Illness and Dying unit had us explore what goes through a typical human mind and life when Illness and Death is forced into our lives. How does it change us emotionally, physically, mentally? What can we do to stop these negative things from happening? Do we fear Illness? Death? For me to go into this senior center, especially after going through this unit, I would think that with my new mindset, I would really see past these elders and see their actual sadness deep down inside. But honestly, I saw none whatsoever.
Then I got to thinking, sadness and sorrow doesn't have to be the only way to deal with Ilness, Dying or both for that matter. In fact, duing the unit we read a book that relates to these topics called "Tuesdays with Morrie". Of the many lessons I got out of this book, there's a quote that really grabbed me that I believe ALL people should live by. This quote makes me understand why these seniors are not sad and depressed about Dying, but are actually the complete opposite. The quote is " If you learn how to Die, you learn how to Live". This quote really did get my attention. It made me realize that fearing death takes so much negative energy and time that it can actually steal away quality time you have in your life. It made me relaize why these seniors are happy and are enjoying their lives without even giving too much serious thought to Illness and Dying. What these seniors and what that quote has proved to me even further, is that we all need to just live our lives and take on Illness and Dying full on IF it comes, God forbidding.
HW 32 - Thoughts following illness & dying unit
To be honest, this Illness and Dying unit will probably be one of the very few units I keep with me that came from my time in school. This unit to me should be like everything else we learn in school, meaning that it actually matters. I mean, if something I'm learning is never going to be involved in my life ever again, why get myself involved with it in the first place?
This was a unit that deepened not only my learning, but as well as the topic itself of Illness and Dying. I felt like I was able to not only gain alot, but i was also able to share my own personal knowledge based on actual life experiences.
To me, although school overall is still very imporatnt, there is times (majority of time actually) that I dont see the point of many units in all 4 of the subjects I take. However, illness and Dying was a unit I most definilty enjoyed learning in.
This was a unit that deepened not only my learning, but as well as the topic itself of Illness and Dying. I felt like I was able to not only gain alot, but i was also able to share my own personal knowledge based on actual life experiences.
To me, although school overall is still very imporatnt, there is times (majority of time actually) that I dont see the point of many units in all 4 of the subjects I take. However, illness and Dying was a unit I most definilty enjoyed learning in.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
HW 30 RE-DO
After hearing half our class share 2 minute speechs about what their project was about, I feel as thoigh my own project's topic may have been a bit off. So if this case is true, I would like to change my topic to sharing memories of being in the environment of a nursing home when I was younger.
My mom works in a senior center and sometimes, she makes house calls to a select few. When I was younger, my mother had a senior she would visit and care for at a nursing home. The senior's name was Wilma. I believe she was in her late 80's. While so was a very nice woman, i hated hearing from my mom on the days where I would have to tag along with her to the nursing home because after only one or two visits, i DESPISED it.
The smells, the sounds, everything that the nursing home contained I just didn't like. When my mom would buy me an after school snack on the way to the nursing home, I would make it my misssion to completly finish eating before we arrived because I didn't have the strength to eat ANYTHING when inside.
The seniors are really the only people I didn't have a problem with. All of them were nice and always had good things to say to me and my sister, since we were the youngest kids in there, or better yet the ONLY kids. I guess the Grand mother/father charm got turned on whenever they saw us. I remember there was always one lady in a wheelchair that would always say "God bless you children" everytime we arrived and left the home. I also remember being creeped out, but at the same time amused by this one old man. He always walked back and forth in the long hallway, ALWAYS. I never saw him sit down, eat meals, talk, nothing other than walk back and forth.
While I did mention that the people were nice, I just had a feeling of sadness whenever I was in there. Being on the outside of the nursing home felt like I was really far away. Once I entered, it was as if I was entering a new world. These seniors, they were old, weak, and helpless. They relied on the nurses for everything. It was just a sad place. I always felt like I was being punished on days i would have to go with my mom, although that wasn't the case as I was very young at the time.
Overall, these multiple visits gave me a first glabce on what nursing homes are like and what kind of people end up there. It pretty much relates to Illness and Dying because these people, they're either sick or close to their time of passing. While death is indeed not planned (in my opinion), you almost looked at these seniors and felt like they knew exactly when their time was coming, and that made me most sad.
My mom works in a senior center and sometimes, she makes house calls to a select few. When I was younger, my mother had a senior she would visit and care for at a nursing home. The senior's name was Wilma. I believe she was in her late 80's. While so was a very nice woman, i hated hearing from my mom on the days where I would have to tag along with her to the nursing home because after only one or two visits, i DESPISED it.
The smells, the sounds, everything that the nursing home contained I just didn't like. When my mom would buy me an after school snack on the way to the nursing home, I would make it my misssion to completly finish eating before we arrived because I didn't have the strength to eat ANYTHING when inside.
The seniors are really the only people I didn't have a problem with. All of them were nice and always had good things to say to me and my sister, since we were the youngest kids in there, or better yet the ONLY kids. I guess the Grand mother/father charm got turned on whenever they saw us. I remember there was always one lady in a wheelchair that would always say "God bless you children" everytime we arrived and left the home. I also remember being creeped out, but at the same time amused by this one old man. He always walked back and forth in the long hallway, ALWAYS. I never saw him sit down, eat meals, talk, nothing other than walk back and forth.
While I did mention that the people were nice, I just had a feeling of sadness whenever I was in there. Being on the outside of the nursing home felt like I was really far away. Once I entered, it was as if I was entering a new world. These seniors, they were old, weak, and helpless. They relied on the nurses for everything. It was just a sad place. I always felt like I was being punished on days i would have to go with my mom, although that wasn't the case as I was very young at the time.
Overall, these multiple visits gave me a first glabce on what nursing homes are like and what kind of people end up there. It pretty much relates to Illness and Dying because these people, they're either sick or close to their time of passing. While death is indeed not planned (in my opinion), you almost looked at these seniors and felt like they knew exactly when their time was coming, and that made me most sad.
Friday, January 14, 2011
HW 30 - Illness & Dying - Culminating Experiential Project
My original topic was supposed to be based upon interviewing people ablut their past/present issues with Health Insurance. Being that we have studied the topic with resources such as Michael Moore's "Sicko", I felt like it could've been an interestng project. Unfortunatly, I was unable to find anyone to interview within the given time. So instead, I will talk about experiences (including my own) about what people go through after losing someone to Death.
You would genrally think that when it comes to Sickness and Death, the worst of the pain and suffering goes to the persons who are actually sick and dying. While that is very true, they aren't the only ones suffering. Their loved ones have to go through watching helplessly as an important person in their lives is pretty much going through hell.
I personally have lost multiple relatives and have gone through the process of seeing them sick and eventualy pass. My grandmother on my fathers side had cancer when I was finishing middle school. I didn't really see her too much growing up, but I did see her enough to acknowledge her as a close relative. I remember going to her house all the way out in Pennslyvania, where she had a huge 7 bedroom, split level house. I remember her being pretty much a stereotypical grandmother to me: spoling me in every way, making delicious meals, making me feel safe, warm and welcome in her house. Although I kind of reduced contact with her as I got older, she was still my grandmother, and I still loved her. My father satme down one day and told me that grandma had cancer. I didn't know what to do with this news. All I knew was that he was taking my sister and I out to Pennslyvania for the first time in years to have somewhat of a reunion with my grandmother. I was sonfused, nervous, and overall anxious to finally see my grandmother again. But when I saw her, i wasn't prepared for what I was about to see.
NOTE: In society, the happening of Death and Illness can indeed change a person emotionally and menally. It dominates your mind and can change your process of thought. Death can be thought of as the stopping of life not only for the vitim, but for the victims loved ones surronding them in their lives.
My dad, sister and I walked into the sad, blank hospital room. And on the bed, was a lady, looking very sick, who was deep in her sleep. I was shocked to discover as I got closer that this woman was indeed my grandmother. I was completly shocked. She lost a LOT of weight and had a grey complextion. When my dad lightly shook her to wake her up, it seemed to be a struggle for her to even open her eyes. My dad then motioned for me and my sister to say hi and to hug her. I honeslty felt like I was hugging a complete stranger. I didn't feel like this was my grandmother. My grandmother was always moving around, had a high, positive tone in her voice, this lady in the hospital bed just couldn't be my grandma, but she was. After a lengthy visit, my dad took me and my sister back to my grandmother's house where we would be staying the night. Just like seeing my grandmother earlier, just being in the house didn't have that same warm and safe feeling that it did years back. After getting settled and having dinner, we went to bed.
NOTE: This is showing that sickness dominates a person menatally and physically. Some sicknesses are indeed worse than others. Those that are worse, in this case cancer, completly changed my grandmother physically and I could imagine mentally too. Illness invades your body, your health, your mind and you Life.
Before we were to head back home to New York, we stopped by the hospital one last time. I was better composed this time, as I knew what to expect to see. My grandmother looked like she didn't even move an inch from the posistion she was in the day before. AFter staying there for a while watching my dad talk to his mother, we said our goodbyes and headed back home. This whole experience definitly got me to see sickness in a different way. It complelty transformed my grandmother. I hoped that this was only scary, confusing experience I was going to go through, but I was wrong.
A month or so later, my dad sat me down for a second time. I had a feeling this was about grandma, since she was the topic at our last sitdown talk. However, the news this time around was that my grandmother had passed away. WHAT??!! That was my initial reaction. I just couldn't believe it. My grandmother was no longer on this Earth with me. I just didn't know how to take it. While this was happening, my dad informed me that we would be returning to Pennslyvania to attend her funeral. Once again, I was confused and nervous before and during the second road trip back to PA. All I kept thinking about was where exactly was my grandmother. Is she in Heaven? Is she still on her way there or did she get there already? Is she ok? Can she see me and hear my thoughts? Does she know that regardless of lost contact, that I still love her? ALl this thinking killed some time and eventually made the trip seem quicker and before I knew it, we were there. We first went to my grandmother's house, where we were greeted by my dads brothers; my uncles who I also lost contact with. They went on about how big me and my sister had gotten. AFter some catching up and planning with my dad and my uncles, we were off to the funeral parlor.
We arived in this spooky, quiet funeral parlor, which to me was pretty much like a haunted house. We were greetd by an old man who I guess was the coordinator there. He escorted all o us into this small room. All I saw were chairs facing me. And with one swift turn, I was startled at what I saw. The same lady who apprently was my grandmother who I saw in a hospital bed weeks ago, was laying down in a coffin. My eyes were opened wide to the max. My mouth, dropped. I just couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. I looked around the room and saw that the rest of my family were pretty much having the same reaction as I was. When I built up enough courage, I slowly stepped up close to the coffin where my grandmother was fast asleep. I studided her blank, white face, and to me she looked as though she could open her eyes and this all could've been a joke or something (a pretty sick joke at that). But deep down, I've come to understand that this was no joke, no dream, it was very real. AFter a few days of spending practically our whole time in the parlor, seeing my grandmother's friends and loved ones come pay their respects, and going through a very emotional funeral, it was time to once again go home, only this time, I wouldn't come back to my grandmother, back to her warm safe house. This was it.
NOTE: This shows the domination of a funeral parlor and other settings that surrond itself with Death. It's almost as if Death is another world in itself. Death and Illness is the line in the sand between society/reality and this mysterious other world (Death).
The sickness and death of my grandmother was the first time I lost a relative and was aware of it. I was feeling these new feelings for the first time. I was feeling sorrow, confususion, even a little gulit. This experience, although sad, was good for me. It opened my eyes to a huge part ofLife, which is Death. It made me appreciate my life more. Every year when I ride all the way to Pennslyvania to pay respects to my grandmother's grave, I remember the whole process I went through. Even when she was sick and eventually passed away, my grandma taught me a lesson I will always hold close to me. It's that you only have one life, and that you should always make the most of it. Chase your dreas, meet as many people as you can, make your loved ones know that you indeed love them, and just LIVE your LIFE.
You would genrally think that when it comes to Sickness and Death, the worst of the pain and suffering goes to the persons who are actually sick and dying. While that is very true, they aren't the only ones suffering. Their loved ones have to go through watching helplessly as an important person in their lives is pretty much going through hell.
I personally have lost multiple relatives and have gone through the process of seeing them sick and eventualy pass. My grandmother on my fathers side had cancer when I was finishing middle school. I didn't really see her too much growing up, but I did see her enough to acknowledge her as a close relative. I remember going to her house all the way out in Pennslyvania, where she had a huge 7 bedroom, split level house. I remember her being pretty much a stereotypical grandmother to me: spoling me in every way, making delicious meals, making me feel safe, warm and welcome in her house. Although I kind of reduced contact with her as I got older, she was still my grandmother, and I still loved her. My father satme down one day and told me that grandma had cancer. I didn't know what to do with this news. All I knew was that he was taking my sister and I out to Pennslyvania for the first time in years to have somewhat of a reunion with my grandmother. I was sonfused, nervous, and overall anxious to finally see my grandmother again. But when I saw her, i wasn't prepared for what I was about to see.
NOTE: In society, the happening of Death and Illness can indeed change a person emotionally and menally. It dominates your mind and can change your process of thought. Death can be thought of as the stopping of life not only for the vitim, but for the victims loved ones surronding them in their lives.
My dad, sister and I walked into the sad, blank hospital room. And on the bed, was a lady, looking very sick, who was deep in her sleep. I was shocked to discover as I got closer that this woman was indeed my grandmother. I was completly shocked. She lost a LOT of weight and had a grey complextion. When my dad lightly shook her to wake her up, it seemed to be a struggle for her to even open her eyes. My dad then motioned for me and my sister to say hi and to hug her. I honeslty felt like I was hugging a complete stranger. I didn't feel like this was my grandmother. My grandmother was always moving around, had a high, positive tone in her voice, this lady in the hospital bed just couldn't be my grandma, but she was. After a lengthy visit, my dad took me and my sister back to my grandmother's house where we would be staying the night. Just like seeing my grandmother earlier, just being in the house didn't have that same warm and safe feeling that it did years back. After getting settled and having dinner, we went to bed.
NOTE: This is showing that sickness dominates a person menatally and physically. Some sicknesses are indeed worse than others. Those that are worse, in this case cancer, completly changed my grandmother physically and I could imagine mentally too. Illness invades your body, your health, your mind and you Life.
Before we were to head back home to New York, we stopped by the hospital one last time. I was better composed this time, as I knew what to expect to see. My grandmother looked like she didn't even move an inch from the posistion she was in the day before. AFter staying there for a while watching my dad talk to his mother, we said our goodbyes and headed back home. This whole experience definitly got me to see sickness in a different way. It complelty transformed my grandmother. I hoped that this was only scary, confusing experience I was going to go through, but I was wrong.
A month or so later, my dad sat me down for a second time. I had a feeling this was about grandma, since she was the topic at our last sitdown talk. However, the news this time around was that my grandmother had passed away. WHAT??!! That was my initial reaction. I just couldn't believe it. My grandmother was no longer on this Earth with me. I just didn't know how to take it. While this was happening, my dad informed me that we would be returning to Pennslyvania to attend her funeral. Once again, I was confused and nervous before and during the second road trip back to PA. All I kept thinking about was where exactly was my grandmother. Is she in Heaven? Is she still on her way there or did she get there already? Is she ok? Can she see me and hear my thoughts? Does she know that regardless of lost contact, that I still love her? ALl this thinking killed some time and eventually made the trip seem quicker and before I knew it, we were there. We first went to my grandmother's house, where we were greeted by my dads brothers; my uncles who I also lost contact with. They went on about how big me and my sister had gotten. AFter some catching up and planning with my dad and my uncles, we were off to the funeral parlor.
We arived in this spooky, quiet funeral parlor, which to me was pretty much like a haunted house. We were greetd by an old man who I guess was the coordinator there. He escorted all o us into this small room. All I saw were chairs facing me. And with one swift turn, I was startled at what I saw. The same lady who apprently was my grandmother who I saw in a hospital bed weeks ago, was laying down in a coffin. My eyes were opened wide to the max. My mouth, dropped. I just couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. I looked around the room and saw that the rest of my family were pretty much having the same reaction as I was. When I built up enough courage, I slowly stepped up close to the coffin where my grandmother was fast asleep. I studided her blank, white face, and to me she looked as though she could open her eyes and this all could've been a joke or something (a pretty sick joke at that). But deep down, I've come to understand that this was no joke, no dream, it was very real. AFter a few days of spending practically our whole time in the parlor, seeing my grandmother's friends and loved ones come pay their respects, and going through a very emotional funeral, it was time to once again go home, only this time, I wouldn't come back to my grandmother, back to her warm safe house. This was it.
NOTE: This shows the domination of a funeral parlor and other settings that surrond itself with Death. It's almost as if Death is another world in itself. Death and Illness is the line in the sand between society/reality and this mysterious other world (Death).
The sickness and death of my grandmother was the first time I lost a relative and was aware of it. I was feeling these new feelings for the first time. I was feeling sorrow, confususion, even a little gulit. This experience, although sad, was good for me. It opened my eyes to a huge part ofLife, which is Death. It made me appreciate my life more. Every year when I ride all the way to Pennslyvania to pay respects to my grandmother's grave, I remember the whole process I went through. Even when she was sick and eventually passed away, my grandma taught me a lesson I will always hold close to me. It's that you only have one life, and that you should always make the most of it. Chase your dreas, meet as many people as you can, make your loved ones know that you indeed love them, and just LIVE your LIFE.
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