I actually chose not to participate in my senior prom. My deep reasoning for choosing not to go isn't all that complicated. I simply didn't feel the need to go to an event where I wouldn't enjoy myself. Not to say that prom itself isn't a fun night, I just felt like it wasn't right for me. Thinking about going, I don't think I would've felt right being there, I would've felt like a party outcast, if you will. In a way, I'm proud of myself that I didn't fall under the influence of the dominant social practice of prom in which it was an event that you HAD to attend. I was given the option to go, I chose not to go, simple as that.
While I didn't participate in going, that didn't stop for at least being visually exposed to preperation to the big night for my classmates. It was impossible to go on facebook the day of prom without seeing status' which were filled with anticipation of the big night ahead of them. Everybody was getting dressed up, excited as ever, and ready to tend their senior year of high school with a bang, good for them.
Down the road in my life, I don't think ill regret not going to my senior prom. Sure, there will probably be times I have those "what if" moments, but in the end, I'm more sure that I can go on with my life without attending my senior prom. I do however, hope that my classmates who did feel the need to go did in fact have an awesome time and create memories that will last for lifetimes.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
HW 58 - Prom Interviews
Interview with girl my age who went to prom:
"Prom was a very fun night. I got to spend it with my friends and we just let loose and had a fun time. The actual prom was a good time. Music, food, dancing a lot. We then went out and had a huge water fight, which was also fun. It was a night ill never forget".
Interview with guy who didn't go to prom
"Prom was never really an interest of mine. Its looked at as the biggest, best night of the year. I just didn't see it that way. I didn't really hang out too much with classmates of mine. I had a small group of friends, that's about it. Prom is more about bonding with those you've known for the past 4 years of high school. I simply felt that it wasn't my place to go. I'm sure it would've been fun, but I don't regret not going".
Interview with older relative who understand DSP of Prom
"Prom is that big night that all high school seniors look forward to the minute that first bell of senior year rings. A lot happens during that night, some good, some not so good. But in the end its all for a memory, a memory of good times with your friends and the highlight of your high school career".
Even though the majority of modern society views Prom as a must attend event, there are people out there who have different views. Some may not feel its their place to go, and that's fine. I personally will most likely not go to prom or any other events that night, pretty much for the same reasons as above. It all depends on how you feel about the whole ordeal. However, it is true that Prom will mostly forever be dominant as a social practice that is practiced by the older generation of high school. Its an "American rite of passage".
"Prom was a very fun night. I got to spend it with my friends and we just let loose and had a fun time. The actual prom was a good time. Music, food, dancing a lot. We then went out and had a huge water fight, which was also fun. It was a night ill never forget".
Interview with guy who didn't go to prom
"Prom was never really an interest of mine. Its looked at as the biggest, best night of the year. I just didn't see it that way. I didn't really hang out too much with classmates of mine. I had a small group of friends, that's about it. Prom is more about bonding with those you've known for the past 4 years of high school. I simply felt that it wasn't my place to go. I'm sure it would've been fun, but I don't regret not going".
Interview with older relative who understand DSP of Prom
"Prom is that big night that all high school seniors look forward to the minute that first bell of senior year rings. A lot happens during that night, some good, some not so good. But in the end its all for a memory, a memory of good times with your friends and the highlight of your high school career".
Even though the majority of modern society views Prom as a must attend event, there are people out there who have different views. Some may not feel its their place to go, and that's fine. I personally will most likely not go to prom or any other events that night, pretty much for the same reasons as above. It all depends on how you feel about the whole ordeal. However, it is true that Prom will mostly forever be dominant as a social practice that is practiced by the older generation of high school. Its an "American rite of passage".
Monday, May 23, 2011
HW 57 - Initial thoughts of Prom
Something I heard in class while disscussing prom was that it was pretty much a practice for a wedding. Dressing up, the party, the limos, both events pretty much are identical.
When I first arrived to high school, I expected that it would be what a stereotypical high school would be like. People within seperate cliques, sports teams, many classes to choose from, etc. Unfortunatly, when I arrived to my specific high school, it didn't pan out in that exact way. It was more work than anything else. However, one thing that remains stereotypical that I've always seen in those high school movies is prom.
Everyone dressing up, looking forward to the day months beforehand, after parties, people looking to have the craziest night ever, etc. For what prom really is, sone look at it as a reward for getting through high school. Some may see it as a way to relieve stress that was gained during high school. Some may even see it as the end of one time period and the beginning of another. Prom to me is the beginning of the end for high school, where people who wanted to leave high school so badly all of a sudden fear leaving the comfort of high school and taking that long awaited journey to college or anywhere else besdies where they've been for the past 4 years.
To me, its pretty amazing how a more than avaerage dance could mean so much more than dressing nice and dancing the night away. There's meaning to it, for each individual person it calls for a different point of view. The bottom line is that Prom means so much more than it initially looks to be
When I first arrived to high school, I expected that it would be what a stereotypical high school would be like. People within seperate cliques, sports teams, many classes to choose from, etc. Unfortunatly, when I arrived to my specific high school, it didn't pan out in that exact way. It was more work than anything else. However, one thing that remains stereotypical that I've always seen in those high school movies is prom.
Everyone dressing up, looking forward to the day months beforehand, after parties, people looking to have the craziest night ever, etc. For what prom really is, sone look at it as a reward for getting through high school. Some may see it as a way to relieve stress that was gained during high school. Some may even see it as the end of one time period and the beginning of another. Prom to me is the beginning of the end for high school, where people who wanted to leave high school so badly all of a sudden fear leaving the comfort of high school and taking that long awaited journey to college or anywhere else besdies where they've been for the past 4 years.
To me, its pretty amazing how a more than avaerage dance could mean so much more than dressing nice and dancing the night away. There's meaning to it, for each individual person it calls for a different point of view. The bottom line is that Prom means so much more than it initially looks to be
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Extra Credit COTD 1- Cemetary
Although I don't have a photo, I would like to share my experience in my yearly visit to my grandmothers grave that is located in Pennslyvania.
My fathers mother died from cancer in the middle of my final year of junior high. It was actually my first case of dealing with death from a relative that was so close to me. Although I haven't seen my grandmother in a few years, I still had clear, fond memories of her. After going through the whole process of attending her wake and funeral, it became a tradition for me to take a drive with my father to Pennslyvania to pay respects to her.
First off, the drive is very long, stretching between 2 and a half to 3 hours. The drive alone shows the dominant social practice of the living paying respects to the dead. Throughout many years, in many different social circles, there are many traditional rituals that are still in existence today that pay tribute to those who have died. For example, indian buriel ritual span to 13 days with much ritual involved. Although not as much as a 13 day celebration, to take a 3 hour drive to stand at a headstone for about 10 minutes to me is saying a lot.
Once we arrive in Pennslyvania, we usually pick up flowers and little ornaments to decorate my grandmothers grave and make it more nice looking. This to me represents showing how deafth doesn't always have to be scary and ugly, but it actually can be a beautiful thing.
Then we finally arrive at the cemetary, which I note contains graves that span throughout the early 1800s. To me, its almost as if that cemetary is like a freeze not just in time, but multiple time slots. Its pretty bizarre to be walking across the yard and seeing graves from the 1800s, 1900s, and eventually our current century of the 2000s. What's even more shcoking is that graves from the early 1800s belong to very young children that died from illness that might have been rare then but not now. Its really sad to see that.
And finally, after the long journey, we arrive at the gravestone of my grandmother. Her marble headstone is engraved with pretty white angels. There are dead flowers from someones last visit, most likely one of my uncles. My dad decorates with the new flowers to make it more nice looking. Words of respect are then said, followed by a moment of silence. Then we leave and wave our final goodbyes, until next time.
Its pretty weird thinking about this, but when somone dies, their life is over for them, but their life is not over for the loved ones still alive. Although people eventually grieve completly for a loved one lost, as long as they're remembered, they will always live on in some type of passion.
My fathers mother died from cancer in the middle of my final year of junior high. It was actually my first case of dealing with death from a relative that was so close to me. Although I haven't seen my grandmother in a few years, I still had clear, fond memories of her. After going through the whole process of attending her wake and funeral, it became a tradition for me to take a drive with my father to Pennslyvania to pay respects to her.
First off, the drive is very long, stretching between 2 and a half to 3 hours. The drive alone shows the dominant social practice of the living paying respects to the dead. Throughout many years, in many different social circles, there are many traditional rituals that are still in existence today that pay tribute to those who have died. For example, indian buriel ritual span to 13 days with much ritual involved. Although not as much as a 13 day celebration, to take a 3 hour drive to stand at a headstone for about 10 minutes to me is saying a lot.
Once we arrive in Pennslyvania, we usually pick up flowers and little ornaments to decorate my grandmothers grave and make it more nice looking. This to me represents showing how deafth doesn't always have to be scary and ugly, but it actually can be a beautiful thing.
Then we finally arrive at the cemetary, which I note contains graves that span throughout the early 1800s. To me, its almost as if that cemetary is like a freeze not just in time, but multiple time slots. Its pretty bizarre to be walking across the yard and seeing graves from the 1800s, 1900s, and eventually our current century of the 2000s. What's even more shcoking is that graves from the early 1800s belong to very young children that died from illness that might have been rare then but not now. Its really sad to see that.
And finally, after the long journey, we arrive at the gravestone of my grandmother. Her marble headstone is engraved with pretty white angels. There are dead flowers from someones last visit, most likely one of my uncles. My dad decorates with the new flowers to make it more nice looking. Words of respect are then said, followed by a moment of silence. Then we leave and wave our final goodbyes, until next time.
Its pretty weird thinking about this, but when somone dies, their life is over for them, but their life is not over for the loved ones still alive. Although people eventually grieve completly for a loved one lost, as long as they're remembered, they will always live on in some type of passion.
Extra Credit COTD 2- Harold and Maude
The movie "Harold and Maude" is a comedic film that came out in 1971 that centers around the mysteries of death. Before even watching it, I was puzzled as to why a topic such as death could possibly be the base topic of a comedy. In my mind, either this movie was simply using comedy as a way to make death seem less serious and scary, or it was literally mocking death as if it actually is no big deal. Either way, I was more than interested in finding out what different perspective views it provided.
This movie is based around a young boy named Harold, who is ultimatley obssessed with death. To be around death as much as he can, he stages numerous mock suicides, attends funerals of complete strangers, and even has a job driving a hearse. In my view, the character of Harold represents the curiosity of the younger generation who at most times are kept away from the society and dealings with death, as parents may feel its too big of a deal for children to be exposed to at a young age. I personally remember having my neighbor pass away when I was very young. She was a very nice woman who was a family friend for years. I would always spend time with her at her house and be spoiled with sweets. She was almost like an extra grandmother figure to me. When she died, I wasn't able to go to her funeral on the fact that I was too young. I remember asking my mother if I could go to a funeral but she said I had to go to school and it would be over by the time I got out. Although the movie character of Harold seems a lot more than curious about death, it definitly connects to the younger generation and their need to know about the mysteries of death.
Along the movie, Harold meets an old woman by the name of Muade. Like Harold, Maude shares his obsession of death and also has the unique hobby of attending funerals of strangers. Maude takes Harold under her wing and shows him out the live his life to his best in his time on earth living. This intrigues Harold, as he was never exposed to someone was was so full of life and loved it so much. He eventually falls in love with the much older woman and wants to marry her. The character of Maude represents mutiple social practices in dealing with death. Her character is appointed as somewhat of a mentor to Harold in the subject of not only life, but death as well. She is the type of older lady who feels the younger generation should indeed be exposed to the happening of death. But, she also is the type of character who believes death shouldn't necessarily stop people from living. At one point, she reveals to Harold she purposly took an overdose of sleeping pills and said she couldn't die in a better way (being that she too had fell in love wiith Harold). This also shows how death doesn't actually have to be a sad and scary thing and that dying could actually be done ahppily and in a beautiful way.
This movie definitly showed me a different side to thinking about death. I doubted why death would be looked at in a comedy film but after seeing what lessons it showed, I believe it can be beneficial to those who perhaps have a hard time in dealing with the thoughts of death and could possibly clear their head with a simply different point of view.
This movie is based around a young boy named Harold, who is ultimatley obssessed with death. To be around death as much as he can, he stages numerous mock suicides, attends funerals of complete strangers, and even has a job driving a hearse. In my view, the character of Harold represents the curiosity of the younger generation who at most times are kept away from the society and dealings with death, as parents may feel its too big of a deal for children to be exposed to at a young age. I personally remember having my neighbor pass away when I was very young. She was a very nice woman who was a family friend for years. I would always spend time with her at her house and be spoiled with sweets. She was almost like an extra grandmother figure to me. When she died, I wasn't able to go to her funeral on the fact that I was too young. I remember asking my mother if I could go to a funeral but she said I had to go to school and it would be over by the time I got out. Although the movie character of Harold seems a lot more than curious about death, it definitly connects to the younger generation and their need to know about the mysteries of death.
Along the movie, Harold meets an old woman by the name of Muade. Like Harold, Maude shares his obsession of death and also has the unique hobby of attending funerals of strangers. Maude takes Harold under her wing and shows him out the live his life to his best in his time on earth living. This intrigues Harold, as he was never exposed to someone was was so full of life and loved it so much. He eventually falls in love with the much older woman and wants to marry her. The character of Maude represents mutiple social practices in dealing with death. Her character is appointed as somewhat of a mentor to Harold in the subject of not only life, but death as well. She is the type of older lady who feels the younger generation should indeed be exposed to the happening of death. But, she also is the type of character who believes death shouldn't necessarily stop people from living. At one point, she reveals to Harold she purposly took an overdose of sleeping pills and said she couldn't die in a better way (being that she too had fell in love wiith Harold). This also shows how death doesn't actually have to be a sad and scary thing and that dying could actually be done ahppily and in a beautiful way.
This movie definitly showed me a different side to thinking about death. I doubted why death would be looked at in a comedy film but after seeing what lessons it showed, I believe it can be beneficial to those who perhaps have a hard time in dealing with the thoughts of death and could possibly clear their head with a simply different point of view.
Monday, May 16, 2011
HW 56- Culminating Project
For my culminating project in the care of the dead unit, I will be interviewing my family on what they would like done with their own bodies once they have passed away. Throughout this unit, I have learned about the down low controversy that exists within the death community in handling dead bodies and arranging/paying for funerals, caskets and embalming. Now that I'm somewhat more knowledgeable on the topic, at least more than before this unit, I'm interested in my immediate family's thoughts on this subject.
I didn't want to make this a strictly question and answer ordeal. What I did was inform my interviewees on what I have learned in the care of the dead unit. I informed them of the mutiple different ways a dead body can be put down to permanent rest, expensive costs of caskets and funerals and the multiple different ways bodies are taken care of in the meantime, like freezing and embalming. I then asked what each of my interviewees would like done with their bodies, why they want it done, and their overall take on death.
My Mothers Response
" I would like my body to be cremated. I wouldn't want to be buried and have complete strangers stepping all over me. I would feel better knowing I was in good hands. Either that, or maybe I would like my remains to be spinkled somewhere private, where only my family can go".
On a side note, my mom was talking to me about embalming and how its done because the fluids within a dead body would make the body stiffen up and even rise up out of a coffin, this is one of the reasons why embalming is done. I didn't catch that during the unit so I just found that interesting.
My Sister's Response
" I want to be buried. I would like to have a funeral and everything so that I can be remembered. I wouldn't want to be cremated. I know I'm dead and everything, but the thought of my body being burned freaks me out. So I would definitly want to be buried".
My Father's Response
" I definitly don't want to be buried underground. If I were to be buried, it would be in a mausoleum. And another thing, how do you know if you're dead forever when you die? What if you're done for 6 months and then you come back to life? If that's the case, you'll be tortured being buried 6 feet under. There have been actual cases where people who have been thought to have be dead were actually in comas. So you never know what death is or how long it is".
Its pretty amazing how three of my closest relatives have completly different preferences on what they want done their dead bodies. I was especially pretty intrigued by my fathers beliefs on death (he was actually pretty serious with his answer). But the point of that is that with death being only one thing, its also many different things in the eyes of many different people who have multiple thoughts and beliefs on what happens after you die, and that plays a role in what they want done physically with their bodies. I personally don't really think about my own body's process of being dead. I wouldn't mind being buried or cremated. I think more about what happens to your soul after you die, like what happens the moment you die? I always pictured seeing your whole life flash before your eyes from when you are born to the moments that you die. Then I believe that you go on some kind of journey and go to heaven. There's multiple pop culture references in relation to death. I personally enjoyed the movie "The Lovely Bones", a fictional movie about a 14 year old girl who is killed and tries to help her family solve her murder from the sprit world. It really makes death look like a unique, beautiful place and makes you think more about it. However, with all the thoughts and beliefs that exist, I also believe death will never truly be known until the day it actually happens to you.
I didn't want to make this a strictly question and answer ordeal. What I did was inform my interviewees on what I have learned in the care of the dead unit. I informed them of the mutiple different ways a dead body can be put down to permanent rest, expensive costs of caskets and funerals and the multiple different ways bodies are taken care of in the meantime, like freezing and embalming. I then asked what each of my interviewees would like done with their bodies, why they want it done, and their overall take on death.
My Mothers Response
" I would like my body to be cremated. I wouldn't want to be buried and have complete strangers stepping all over me. I would feel better knowing I was in good hands. Either that, or maybe I would like my remains to be spinkled somewhere private, where only my family can go".
On a side note, my mom was talking to me about embalming and how its done because the fluids within a dead body would make the body stiffen up and even rise up out of a coffin, this is one of the reasons why embalming is done. I didn't catch that during the unit so I just found that interesting.
My Sister's Response
" I want to be buried. I would like to have a funeral and everything so that I can be remembered. I wouldn't want to be cremated. I know I'm dead and everything, but the thought of my body being burned freaks me out. So I would definitly want to be buried".
My Father's Response
" I definitly don't want to be buried underground. If I were to be buried, it would be in a mausoleum. And another thing, how do you know if you're dead forever when you die? What if you're done for 6 months and then you come back to life? If that's the case, you'll be tortured being buried 6 feet under. There have been actual cases where people who have been thought to have be dead were actually in comas. So you never know what death is or how long it is".
Its pretty amazing how three of my closest relatives have completly different preferences on what they want done their dead bodies. I was especially pretty intrigued by my fathers beliefs on death (he was actually pretty serious with his answer). But the point of that is that with death being only one thing, its also many different things in the eyes of many different people who have multiple thoughts and beliefs on what happens after you die, and that plays a role in what they want done physically with their bodies. I personally don't really think about my own body's process of being dead. I wouldn't mind being buried or cremated. I think more about what happens to your soul after you die, like what happens the moment you die? I always pictured seeing your whole life flash before your eyes from when you are born to the moments that you die. Then I believe that you go on some kind of journey and go to heaven. There's multiple pop culture references in relation to death. I personally enjoyed the movie "The Lovely Bones", a fictional movie about a 14 year old girl who is killed and tries to help her family solve her murder from the sprit world. It really makes death look like a unique, beautiful place and makes you think more about it. However, with all the thoughts and beliefs that exist, I also believe death will never truly be known until the day it actually happens to you.
Monday, May 9, 2011
HW 52- Third third of Grave Matters
Precis
Traditional american buriels aren't all that they're cracked up to be. For them to be looked at as the right, mandatory way to lay a deceased loved one to rest is beyond ridiculous, just like the asking prices of funeral homes just to say that final farewell to a lost loved one. There are many other alternatives then the social practice of bringing a loved ones body to a funeral home and end up spending thousands of dollars, when there's other choices out there. A few choices include backyard buriel, buriel at sea. Other types of laying a person 6 feet under include getting a plain, pine box. Caring for the dead at home is even a hidden, popular way to lay loved ones down to rest.
Thoughts
Growing up, I personally learned about the caring of the dead in a way where when someone died, their relatives went to the funeral home, made plans, paid the fees, had the funeral, buried their loved ones, the end. But reading this book revealed that while this indeed is a dominant social practice idea, this is most definitly not the only way to go. I was very interested in my new discoveries involving different ways you are able to lay down loved ones instead of having to pay thousands of dollars for the occasion. I would be more than willing to have my personal remains be buried at sea or something along those lines rather than having my living loved ones paying all this money for something that in reality isn't all that necessary. Sure, the idea is good, but the way that the dominant social practice of caring of the dead is performed definitly has its other options.
Traditional american buriels aren't all that they're cracked up to be. For them to be looked at as the right, mandatory way to lay a deceased loved one to rest is beyond ridiculous, just like the asking prices of funeral homes just to say that final farewell to a lost loved one. There are many other alternatives then the social practice of bringing a loved ones body to a funeral home and end up spending thousands of dollars, when there's other choices out there. A few choices include backyard buriel, buriel at sea. Other types of laying a person 6 feet under include getting a plain, pine box. Caring for the dead at home is even a hidden, popular way to lay loved ones down to rest.
Thoughts
Growing up, I personally learned about the caring of the dead in a way where when someone died, their relatives went to the funeral home, made plans, paid the fees, had the funeral, buried their loved ones, the end. But reading this book revealed that while this indeed is a dominant social practice idea, this is most definitly not the only way to go. I was very interested in my new discoveries involving different ways you are able to lay down loved ones instead of having to pay thousands of dollars for the occasion. I would be more than willing to have my personal remains be buried at sea or something along those lines rather than having my living loved ones paying all this money for something that in reality isn't all that necessary. Sure, the idea is good, but the way that the dominant social practice of caring of the dead is performed definitly has its other options.
Monday, May 2, 2011
HW 51- Second Third of Grave Matters
Precis
The ways of laying a deceased one to rest has produced a lot more optional procedures in the years past. Besides the traditional buriel 6 feet under, many other ways of packing a dead body has now become of. There's cremation, buriel at sea, there's even a growing popularity of green buriel. With new and interesting characteristics involved in saying farewell to a loved one loss, those grieving feel less sad and mournful knowing they have options in putting their loved ones out of sight and out of mind.
Quotes
"Today, some thirty percent of all Americans are cremated. By 2025, the percentage will jump to forty five percent......Five years later, the number of cremations will outnumber the nuumber of buriels for the first time in our history". (Pg 55)
""The memorial service was my last act as a son. Id done what I had to do for mom, and it had gone well"" (pg 66)
"The US Navy continues to offer buriel at sea for any active duty, retired and veteran soilder, of all service branches, as well as their spouses and dependent children, free of charge. Today, it conducts some thousand sea buriels a tear, aboard the US naval ships. All but twenty five to fifty are buriels of cremated remains" (pg 73)
This second third of Grave Matters concentrates on the multiple types of laying a loved one to rest there is today. Besides the regular buriel underground, its interesting how much more options people have in what to do with their bodies or bodies of loved ones when they become deceased. This is most definitly a blow to those who work in funeral parlors and who at one point were the only carers of the dead because these multiple laying of rests is considered to be competition of business. Its amazing how the way you are laid to rest can be beneficial in other ways too (e.g.donate your body to science, have fake parts of you (metal hip) be a fixture of marine life, etc).
The ways of laying a deceased one to rest has produced a lot more optional procedures in the years past. Besides the traditional buriel 6 feet under, many other ways of packing a dead body has now become of. There's cremation, buriel at sea, there's even a growing popularity of green buriel. With new and interesting characteristics involved in saying farewell to a loved one loss, those grieving feel less sad and mournful knowing they have options in putting their loved ones out of sight and out of mind.
Quotes
"Today, some thirty percent of all Americans are cremated. By 2025, the percentage will jump to forty five percent......Five years later, the number of cremations will outnumber the nuumber of buriels for the first time in our history". (Pg 55)
""The memorial service was my last act as a son. Id done what I had to do for mom, and it had gone well"" (pg 66)
"The US Navy continues to offer buriel at sea for any active duty, retired and veteran soilder, of all service branches, as well as their spouses and dependent children, free of charge. Today, it conducts some thousand sea buriels a tear, aboard the US naval ships. All but twenty five to fifty are buriels of cremated remains" (pg 73)
This second third of Grave Matters concentrates on the multiple types of laying a loved one to rest there is today. Besides the regular buriel underground, its interesting how much more options people have in what to do with their bodies or bodies of loved ones when they become deceased. This is most definitly a blow to those who work in funeral parlors and who at one point were the only carers of the dead because these multiple laying of rests is considered to be competition of business. Its amazing how the way you are laid to rest can be beneficial in other ways too (e.g.donate your body to science, have fake parts of you (metal hip) be a fixture of marine life, etc).
Sunday, May 1, 2011
HW 50- First Third of Grave Matters posts
Precis
One of the more important rules of working in a funeral home: don't let your guard down. In other words, don't feel sympathetic to those who have lost loved ones. For where there is lost, there is gain, in profit. Always keep the bigger picture fresh in your mind, when you are in the business of caring for the dead, you must show what you care for your customers, while really you are caring for what comes out of the grave you are setting up, profit.
Quotes
- "In keeping with our high standard in living, there should be an equally high standard in dying" ( pg. 16)
- "Embalming serves no useful purpose in preventing the transmission of communicable disease" (pg 63)
- "Parents tend to want to pamper their children right up to the end; as a sign of love and a sense of guilt, regardless of what they can afford"
Reading just the first third of "Grave Matters" really opens my eyes and thoughts on the realistic process that those who are in the business of caring for the dead go through on a daily basis. I mean, its actually pretty obvious that these people could possibly be sympathetic to one specific party of customers. Being that they do this for a living, its more of a list of chores to do around the house. Meet greivers, make arrangments, set everything up, stand by as greivers mourn for their lost loves, wrap funeral and everything else up, collect profit, move on. While it may seem kind of messed up that these people don't really care about your feelings, I feel that by reading this book, I can understand why they feel that way and therefore can't blame them.
One of the more important rules of working in a funeral home: don't let your guard down. In other words, don't feel sympathetic to those who have lost loved ones. For where there is lost, there is gain, in profit. Always keep the bigger picture fresh in your mind, when you are in the business of caring for the dead, you must show what you care for your customers, while really you are caring for what comes out of the grave you are setting up, profit.
Quotes
- "In keeping with our high standard in living, there should be an equally high standard in dying" ( pg. 16)
- "Embalming serves no useful purpose in preventing the transmission of communicable disease" (pg 63)
- "Parents tend to want to pamper their children right up to the end; as a sign of love and a sense of guilt, regardless of what they can afford"
Reading just the first third of "Grave Matters" really opens my eyes and thoughts on the realistic process that those who are in the business of caring for the dead go through on a daily basis. I mean, its actually pretty obvious that these people could possibly be sympathetic to one specific party of customers. Being that they do this for a living, its more of a list of chores to do around the house. Meet greivers, make arrangments, set everything up, stand by as greivers mourn for their lost loves, wrap funeral and everything else up, collect profit, move on. While it may seem kind of messed up that these people don't really care about your feelings, I feel that by reading this book, I can understand why they feel that way and therefore can't blame them.
Friday, April 22, 2011
HW 48- Family Perspectives on the Care of the Dead
I interviewed my parents and my grandmother, along with the same questions I used for interviewing peers.
Q1. What are your intitial thoughts of the subject of Death?
Q2. Why do you think Death is feared by most people?
Q3. Do you believe in an afterlife?
My Dad
Q1. You're born, you go to school, go to work, get married and have kids, get older and die. Stepping back from it, life isn't that complicated.
Q2. Because they don't know what's out there after you die. Some people believe in heaven, some people believe its just like sleeping forever. You never know the truth until you die.
Q3. Nope, you just are fast asleep for all eternity.
My Mom
Q1. Its another part of life, the ending part. You go to heaven and reunite with all your loved ones that have passed before you.
Q2. Because people aren't sure what to expect. I was raised to believe that there is a heaven and there is a god, the same way you were raised. That's what church, and all religions for that matter are based around.
Q3. Absolutley, I believe there is a place where people go after they die. How would you explain the millons of sightings and ghosts and other paranomal events?
My grandmother
Q1. Death is a farewell on your life on earth. However, death doesn't necessarily mean the ending of all life. It just means the conclusion of one part of your life, and the beginning of another part.
Q2. People can be scared for many reasons. Mostly because death seperates you from your loved ones. Whether its you who is dying or the death of a loved one, death divides you from those you care for deeply. And although they are gone from your presence for the time being, you will reunite with them agin one day.
Q3. I definitly do. I believe there is such thing as heaven, a place where you fianlly rest in peace along with your family and friends. I imagine it as being the happiest place ever.
Thoughts on the Interviews:
The difference from this group of interviews from my interviews with peers my own age is that I feel the answers this time around were more deep and machore. I especially was touched by my grandmothers answers, especially when she mentioned how people are afraid not of death itslef, but of what death brings, which is the seperation of you from loved ones. I also liked how she said that death isn't the end of life altogether, but the end of one stage and onto another.
Q1. What are your intitial thoughts of the subject of Death?
Q2. Why do you think Death is feared by most people?
Q3. Do you believe in an afterlife?
My Dad
Q1. You're born, you go to school, go to work, get married and have kids, get older and die. Stepping back from it, life isn't that complicated.
Q2. Because they don't know what's out there after you die. Some people believe in heaven, some people believe its just like sleeping forever. You never know the truth until you die.
Q3. Nope, you just are fast asleep for all eternity.
My Mom
Q1. Its another part of life, the ending part. You go to heaven and reunite with all your loved ones that have passed before you.
Q2. Because people aren't sure what to expect. I was raised to believe that there is a heaven and there is a god, the same way you were raised. That's what church, and all religions for that matter are based around.
Q3. Absolutley, I believe there is a place where people go after they die. How would you explain the millons of sightings and ghosts and other paranomal events?
My grandmother
Q1. Death is a farewell on your life on earth. However, death doesn't necessarily mean the ending of all life. It just means the conclusion of one part of your life, and the beginning of another part.
Q2. People can be scared for many reasons. Mostly because death seperates you from your loved ones. Whether its you who is dying or the death of a loved one, death divides you from those you care for deeply. And although they are gone from your presence for the time being, you will reunite with them agin one day.
Q3. I definitly do. I believe there is such thing as heaven, a place where you fianlly rest in peace along with your family and friends. I imagine it as being the happiest place ever.
Thoughts on the Interviews:
The difference from this group of interviews from my interviews with peers my own age is that I feel the answers this time around were more deep and machore. I especially was touched by my grandmothers answers, especially when she mentioned how people are afraid not of death itslef, but of what death brings, which is the seperation of you from loved ones. I also liked how she said that death isn't the end of life altogether, but the end of one stage and onto another.
HW 47- Peer Perspectives on The Care Of The Dead
Questions I will be asking the interviewees:
Q1. What are you first thoughts when you think of the topic of death?
Q2. Why is death usually feared by the majority of people in general?
Q3. Do you believe in an afterlife?
Interviews:
My cousin
Q1. Its something very serious and something people definitly shouldn't take for granted. Death can change a lot of lives other than the person who actually dies. Its tough stuff.
Q2. I believe its feared because you never know when its gonna happen to you. Death happens everyday at random, it can happen to you any day, any week, any month, any year. Its the perfect reason to live everyday like its your last.
Q3. Yes and No. I would like to believe that there's a God and a Heaven, but who's to say that they know for sure that there is such thing? Only time will tell whether its true or not.
My cousin
Q1. Death is apart of life. People usually get spooked out by the thoughts of Death, but its something you can't change. You're born, you live, you die. Simple as that.
Q2. Like I just mentioned, people can't change Death, they can't control when it comes to them (except of course for suicide). But in a natural case, death can happen anytime, from sickness, to an auto accident, death is everywhere.
Q3. I deeply believe in an afterlife, although I don't know exactly what it looks and feels like. I believe life itself is only the first stage of our existence in the universe.
My uncle
Q1. Death is looked at from many different points of views. My personal view on death is that its from exhaustion of life. When you get old enough, most people have to work hard to make a living. Our bodies are machines, and those machines eventually have to stop working completly.
Q2. I don't know why people are so scared of death. Its gonna happen, period. There's nothing you can do to stop it. Just live life and die when you die.
Q3. I don't know that for a fact. All I know is, when you die, you can only experience death when you yourself are dying. You'll find out when you die I guess.
my friend
Q1. Death is the conclusion of your life on earth. You die, and then you go to heaven or whatever place there is to go after you die.
Q2. I don't know. Do people think it hurts or something? Well in some cases it does, like if you're hit by a car or something. Id like to die in my sleep, nice and peaceful, painless.
Q3. There's someplace out there in the universe. Call it heaven, call it anything you want. There just has to be a place after life.
Thoughts on Interviews:
Speaking only for the group of people I interviewed, here are just a couple of mashed points I got when talking about Death.
- Death for the most part is a subject that is understood by most people. The majority of our population understand the happenings. They accept death for whatever they see it as, although the actual universal meaning of Death isn't truly known by anyone walking this Earth.
- Death is often a topic that is feared by people. A lot of people often speak out against wanting to go through death as if there's a possibiltiy that they could avoid it. This is because nobody knows what death truly is. Its almost the same reason as why people were scared of the dark at one point in their lives. It because they don't know what is there. What's feared by people is that of the unknown.
- For the most part, people believe in some kind of afterlife. They believe Life is the first of a multiple stage process that exceeds greater happenings than life on earth, and instead looks at the bigger picture of existence in the universe.
Q1. What are you first thoughts when you think of the topic of death?
Q2. Why is death usually feared by the majority of people in general?
Q3. Do you believe in an afterlife?
Interviews:
My cousin
Q1. Its something very serious and something people definitly shouldn't take for granted. Death can change a lot of lives other than the person who actually dies. Its tough stuff.
Q2. I believe its feared because you never know when its gonna happen to you. Death happens everyday at random, it can happen to you any day, any week, any month, any year. Its the perfect reason to live everyday like its your last.
Q3. Yes and No. I would like to believe that there's a God and a Heaven, but who's to say that they know for sure that there is such thing? Only time will tell whether its true or not.
My cousin
Q1. Death is apart of life. People usually get spooked out by the thoughts of Death, but its something you can't change. You're born, you live, you die. Simple as that.
Q2. Like I just mentioned, people can't change Death, they can't control when it comes to them (except of course for suicide). But in a natural case, death can happen anytime, from sickness, to an auto accident, death is everywhere.
Q3. I deeply believe in an afterlife, although I don't know exactly what it looks and feels like. I believe life itself is only the first stage of our existence in the universe.
My uncle
Q1. Death is looked at from many different points of views. My personal view on death is that its from exhaustion of life. When you get old enough, most people have to work hard to make a living. Our bodies are machines, and those machines eventually have to stop working completly.
Q2. I don't know why people are so scared of death. Its gonna happen, period. There's nothing you can do to stop it. Just live life and die when you die.
Q3. I don't know that for a fact. All I know is, when you die, you can only experience death when you yourself are dying. You'll find out when you die I guess.
my friend
Q1. Death is the conclusion of your life on earth. You die, and then you go to heaven or whatever place there is to go after you die.
Q2. I don't know. Do people think it hurts or something? Well in some cases it does, like if you're hit by a car or something. Id like to die in my sleep, nice and peaceful, painless.
Q3. There's someplace out there in the universe. Call it heaven, call it anything you want. There just has to be a place after life.
Thoughts on Interviews:
Speaking only for the group of people I interviewed, here are just a couple of mashed points I got when talking about Death.
- Death for the most part is a subject that is understood by most people. The majority of our population understand the happenings. They accept death for whatever they see it as, although the actual universal meaning of Death isn't truly known by anyone walking this Earth.
- Death is often a topic that is feared by people. A lot of people often speak out against wanting to go through death as if there's a possibiltiy that they could avoid it. This is because nobody knows what death truly is. Its almost the same reason as why people were scared of the dark at one point in their lives. It because they don't know what is there. What's feared by people is that of the unknown.
- For the most part, people believe in some kind of afterlife. They believe Life is the first of a multiple stage process that exceeds greater happenings than life on earth, and instead looks at the bigger picture of existence in the universe.
Friday, April 15, 2011
HW 46 - Initial Thoughts on the Care of the Dead
My Life wasn't really exposed too much to the subject of death until i was more into my teenage years. I think death could be a very confusing topic for kids younger than that and therefore should wait until they're older to learn about all matters of Death.
My first Death experience happened when I was about 14 years old when my grandmother, my father's mother, passed away in her fight against cancer. It was really weird receiving the news from my father that she had died. It was the first time that someone who I knew actually passed, so it was definitely something surreal to take in. Being that I was family, I was around when my dad and uncles were setting everything up on the days leading up to the actual wake and funeral. When i first walked into the room and saw my grandmother in the open casket, i was in complete shock. It was a really sad, shocking, overall crazy moment. I felt my body pretty much freeze as I saw my grandmother lay there, lifeless.
After the whole experience with my grandmother, I pretty much got the hang of dealing with death. When other relatives or friends of mine eventually passed, I had an idea on what was to be expected. Since my grandmother, I attended 3 additional funerals. The experience of attending a funeral is pretty much the same for every one i went to. Its a sad, grieving day where people come together to pay tribute to the life of a loved one lost. First, they attend the wake, grieve and pray that their loved one is in a better place. Then the actual funeral happens, which is the final farewell to the loved one. The week after the funeral is more of the time for the mourners to try and accept the loss of their loved one.
While the actual word "Death" can be viewed as more of an action or a happening to a person, death is more of a process. Even after a person passes on, their memory stays alive within loved ones they have left behind. It juut proves the saying true, they may be "gone but not forgotten".
My first Death experience happened when I was about 14 years old when my grandmother, my father's mother, passed away in her fight against cancer. It was really weird receiving the news from my father that she had died. It was the first time that someone who I knew actually passed, so it was definitely something surreal to take in. Being that I was family, I was around when my dad and uncles were setting everything up on the days leading up to the actual wake and funeral. When i first walked into the room and saw my grandmother in the open casket, i was in complete shock. It was a really sad, shocking, overall crazy moment. I felt my body pretty much freeze as I saw my grandmother lay there, lifeless.
After the whole experience with my grandmother, I pretty much got the hang of dealing with death. When other relatives or friends of mine eventually passed, I had an idea on what was to be expected. Since my grandmother, I attended 3 additional funerals. The experience of attending a funeral is pretty much the same for every one i went to. Its a sad, grieving day where people come together to pay tribute to the life of a loved one lost. First, they attend the wake, grieve and pray that their loved one is in a better place. Then the actual funeral happens, which is the final farewell to the loved one. The week after the funeral is more of the time for the mourners to try and accept the loss of their loved one.
While the actual word "Death" can be viewed as more of an action or a happening to a person, death is more of a process. Even after a person passes on, their memory stays alive within loved ones they have left behind. It juut proves the saying true, they may be "gone but not forgotten".
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
HW 44 - Comments on Other People's Projects
Leah,
Apparently you did a project about the birthing rituals that happen in India. Not only do people in America alone have different opinions on how birth should happen, many different cultures around the world have a variety of traditions as well.
It looks like you did a great job but im unable to read it from the computer and give you any kind of positive feedback. Visually, it looks like you did a good job.
David,
You looked at the growing rate of C section procedures throughout the world, maily the U.S. and the largest C section rated country, China.
This topic is very important in terms of the subject of birth, as it is a now popular way of getting the baby out of the womb.
You seemed to have done good research and therefore were able to get really in depth with your topic. Good job!
Willie,
Your project was aimed at the after effect, known as Post Partum Depression, which happens after the physical and mental drainage that takes place throughout pregnancy and the final moments of birth. Giving birth is truly a struggle for a woman, and some take more time than others to fully recover after the baby is finally born.
This topic is extreamly important because it shows how the effects of pregnancy dont necessarily leave the body with the baby and can stay for a couple of days afterwards or even longer than that. PPD is something very serious and is found in many other cases, such as within war veterans who suffered scary situations overseas.
This was truly an interesting project for me to read. You seemed to be really interested yourself in your topic, Good Job!
Apparently you did a project about the birthing rituals that happen in India. Not only do people in America alone have different opinions on how birth should happen, many different cultures around the world have a variety of traditions as well.
It looks like you did a great job but im unable to read it from the computer and give you any kind of positive feedback. Visually, it looks like you did a good job.
David,
You looked at the growing rate of C section procedures throughout the world, maily the U.S. and the largest C section rated country, China.
This topic is very important in terms of the subject of birth, as it is a now popular way of getting the baby out of the womb.
You seemed to have done good research and therefore were able to get really in depth with your topic. Good job!
Willie,
Your project was aimed at the after effect, known as Post Partum Depression, which happens after the physical and mental drainage that takes place throughout pregnancy and the final moments of birth. Giving birth is truly a struggle for a woman, and some take more time than others to fully recover after the baby is finally born.
This topic is extreamly important because it shows how the effects of pregnancy dont necessarily leave the body with the baby and can stay for a couple of days afterwards or even longer than that. PPD is something very serious and is found in many other cases, such as within war veterans who suffered scary situations overseas.
This was truly an interesting project for me to read. You seemed to be really interested yourself in your topic, Good Job!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
HW 42 Pregnancy and Birth Culminating Project
For this project I was interested in exploring how becoming pregnant and eventually giving birth took a toll on the mother in both a physical and mental aspect. As a male, I could not begin to even imagine what the hardships of being pregnant are like and if I did, I'm sure I would be way off compared to the real thing. So in order to get somehwat of an accurate idea, I decided to ask mothers in my life about what they went through during their time being pregnant and giving birth and how much they went through physically and mentally. Below are the questions I asked each of my interviewees for the project.
1. What were some significant physical/mental changes you went through during pregnancy?
2. How did you feel knowing that your child was causing all of this?
3. What would you change about being pregnant in order for it to be easier on you?
4. Are all the physical/mental struggles worth it in the end when your child is born?
For the project, I interviewed 3 women in my life who have much experience when it comes to motherhood and who I felt would be the perfect candidates. Out of repect, they will remain anonymous.
Mother 1:
1. Physical changes were basic changes you'd expect from pregnany: big belly, mood swings, the whole 9. However, I viewed these changes as apart of the experience. Sure there was struggle, but it was all for a good cause.
2. I was actually amazed how a little baby could cause so much trouble! As much as I wanted it to stop at times, it wasn't too bad. I was too excited to be bothered.
3. Everyone has their opinions on how pregnancy should be different. For me, its worth it in order for my baby to have been born.
4. Its the most beautiful thing I can remember seeing and experiencing in my lifetime. At that moment, 9 months seemed to have shot right past me. I wouldn't change anything.
Mother 2:
1. I gained a lot of weight, definitly felt sick towards the middle of the pregnany. It was a lot to handle with my first baby. By the time each of my babies came to be, I was more aware of what I was gonna go through. But yeah, the first time was definitly the hardest for me.
2. I just wanted him to be out already! There were easy days and hard days that seemed like lifetimes.
3. Just for there to be not as much physical changes like weight gain and sickness. That would be the best!
4. Its a wonderful, beautiful experience that ill never forget.
Mother 3:
1. Besides gaining weight and getting sick here and there, nothing too bad.
2. It was bizarre, like knowing another human life was inside of me, definitly something special there.
3. Honestly, I don't think there could even be changes made to being pregnant. But if there is in the future, ill be mad.
4. The most amazing thing you'll experience in life is seeing another human being born. It was such an emotional moment, one I will hold onto forever.
After interviewing these 3 mothers, I definitly got a lot of insight into what went on during their time being pregnant and giving birth. Not only was I intrigued by what they said, but the way that they described it was also something interesting. It was a time period that deeply effected these women where it pretty much changed their lives for the better. Having an experience such as childbirth is something that definitly makes you think a lot about the meaning of life. While the way society deals with birth may fade out the real point, its something that hangs your inmagination out there.
1. What were some significant physical/mental changes you went through during pregnancy?
2. How did you feel knowing that your child was causing all of this?
3. What would you change about being pregnant in order for it to be easier on you?
4. Are all the physical/mental struggles worth it in the end when your child is born?
For the project, I interviewed 3 women in my life who have much experience when it comes to motherhood and who I felt would be the perfect candidates. Out of repect, they will remain anonymous.
Mother 1:
1. Physical changes were basic changes you'd expect from pregnany: big belly, mood swings, the whole 9. However, I viewed these changes as apart of the experience. Sure there was struggle, but it was all for a good cause.
2. I was actually amazed how a little baby could cause so much trouble! As much as I wanted it to stop at times, it wasn't too bad. I was too excited to be bothered.
3. Everyone has their opinions on how pregnancy should be different. For me, its worth it in order for my baby to have been born.
4. Its the most beautiful thing I can remember seeing and experiencing in my lifetime. At that moment, 9 months seemed to have shot right past me. I wouldn't change anything.
Mother 2:
1. I gained a lot of weight, definitly felt sick towards the middle of the pregnany. It was a lot to handle with my first baby. By the time each of my babies came to be, I was more aware of what I was gonna go through. But yeah, the first time was definitly the hardest for me.
2. I just wanted him to be out already! There were easy days and hard days that seemed like lifetimes.
3. Just for there to be not as much physical changes like weight gain and sickness. That would be the best!
4. Its a wonderful, beautiful experience that ill never forget.
Mother 3:
1. Besides gaining weight and getting sick here and there, nothing too bad.
2. It was bizarre, like knowing another human life was inside of me, definitly something special there.
3. Honestly, I don't think there could even be changes made to being pregnant. But if there is in the future, ill be mad.
4. The most amazing thing you'll experience in life is seeing another human being born. It was such an emotional moment, one I will hold onto forever.
After interviewing these 3 mothers, I definitly got a lot of insight into what went on during their time being pregnant and giving birth. Not only was I intrigued by what they said, but the way that they described it was also something interesting. It was a time period that deeply effected these women where it pretty much changed their lives for the better. Having an experience such as childbirth is something that definitly makes you think a lot about the meaning of life. While the way society deals with birth may fade out the real point, its something that hangs your inmagination out there.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
HW 41 Independent Research
For my project, I am interested in exploring the significant changes that go on when a woman becomes pregnant and within the months that follow. Its interesting to me because for 9 months of a womans lifetime, she is pretty much helpless when it comes to changes of her physical and mental being. To explore this, I will interview mothers that I know in my life, including my own of course, and really get inside their heads as to what was going on with their body and mind during the struggle towards the beautiful moment of childbirth. Below are a few basic examples to the kind of questions I will be asking to get the research I need.
What were some significant physical/mental changes you went through during pregnancy?
How did you feel knowing that your child was causing all of this?
What would you change about being pregnant in order for it to be easier on you?
Were there moments where you didn't want to be pregnant anymore, like it was a mistake?
In the end, how is seeing your child being born worth it?
These are basic, general questions that I plan to personalize based on the personal situation of the interviewees. I may also do some side research based off of answers that I receive if I see fit to explore a topic deeper for better understanding.
What were some significant physical/mental changes you went through during pregnancy?
How did you feel knowing that your child was causing all of this?
What would you change about being pregnant in order for it to be easier on you?
Were there moments where you didn't want to be pregnant anymore, like it was a mistake?
In the end, how is seeing your child being born worth it?
These are basic, general questions that I plan to personalize based on the personal situation of the interviewees. I may also do some side research based off of answers that I receive if I see fit to explore a topic deeper for better understanding.
Monday, March 14, 2011
HW 38- Insights from book- Part 1
I am currently reading the book "Birth" by Tina Cassidy. This books organized into mutliple pregnancy and birth stories, which are also alligned with their places in history and the evolution in which the processes grew. This book explores the deep reasons in why and how we are born and uses several aspects of the topic of birth and pregnancy to try and answer these big, almost unknown questions. To me, I wonder how birth was first discovered. How did people learn about babies being brought into the world? How was sex even discovered for that matter? These are questions that I undoubtly think about every now and then. Its one of those questions that you can only think and talk about, yet never never actually know the answer to.
This author is a woman and when I'm reading parts of her book, she seems like a pretty strong feminist. While I am a guy, when it comes to her arguments involving aspects of pregnancy and birth, I can't help but agree. For example, she mentions how women aren't treated too well during the process of birth. Looking back on history based on her evidence on the history and evolving of birth. I have to agree with her arguments. Women have to go through so much for the majority of a year. When thinking about it, it sucks that women have to go through hell during pregnancy and birth, although the beautiful, special moment of birth at the end is said to be worth it.
So far I have read some very interesting things in regards to birth within history that caught my attention. For instance, the many different types of ways people attempted to make birth less painful. There were many tries that including hot baths, cold baths, acupuncture, fruit diets, massages, the list goes on and on. It really shows how many tactics were tried in helping a woman be less stressed and feel less pain during birth, but they all camew out not too successful in the end. Another thing that I found interesting was that there was also a spritual aspect that was believed to be associated with pregnancy and birth. In past time, it was believed that birth was painful for the woman which was caused by evil sprits due to the womans previous crimes such as adultury. This assumption led to people believeing that if the woman experienced pain during the birth of her child, she was apart of past crimes.
This book seems to be taking a whole other approach ton the topics of pregnancy and birth, at least freom what I'm used to hearing. This book so far is a pretty interesting read and I look forward in learning alot more of the undisclosed secret history of pregnancy, birth, and life afterwards.
This author is a woman and when I'm reading parts of her book, she seems like a pretty strong feminist. While I am a guy, when it comes to her arguments involving aspects of pregnancy and birth, I can't help but agree. For example, she mentions how women aren't treated too well during the process of birth. Looking back on history based on her evidence on the history and evolving of birth. I have to agree with her arguments. Women have to go through so much for the majority of a year. When thinking about it, it sucks that women have to go through hell during pregnancy and birth, although the beautiful, special moment of birth at the end is said to be worth it.
So far I have read some very interesting things in regards to birth within history that caught my attention. For instance, the many different types of ways people attempted to make birth less painful. There were many tries that including hot baths, cold baths, acupuncture, fruit diets, massages, the list goes on and on. It really shows how many tactics were tried in helping a woman be less stressed and feel less pain during birth, but they all camew out not too successful in the end. Another thing that I found interesting was that there was also a spritual aspect that was believed to be associated with pregnancy and birth. In past time, it was believed that birth was painful for the woman which was caused by evil sprits due to the womans previous crimes such as adultury. This assumption led to people believeing that if the woman experienced pain during the birth of her child, she was apart of past crimes.
This book seems to be taking a whole other approach ton the topics of pregnancy and birth, at least freom what I'm used to hearing. This book so far is a pretty interesting read and I look forward in learning alot more of the undisclosed secret history of pregnancy, birth, and life afterwards.
Monday, February 28, 2011
HW 37 Comments on Birth & Pregnancy Stories.
Bryanna,
I am apart of your new comment on blogs group! Isn't that great news?! Anyways, i obviously read your blog and first off really like your questions. I especially got hooked on the third question which basically questioned how did surrondings people's actions affect those who were going through pregnancy. This, including the answers in which your interviewees gave show that pregnancy and birth very much welcomes a support system, as it is a big deal and change in our lifetime. Overall great job!
Ally,
I'm apart of your new read blogs and comment them group. I read your HW 37 and liked your questions overall, especially the one asking what the interviewees did while they were pregnant and how they felt on a daily basis. It really gives you sort of an idea of what they were going through for those long 9 months. Great blog post!
I am apart of your new comment on blogs group! Isn't that great news?! Anyways, i obviously read your blog and first off really like your questions. I especially got hooked on the third question which basically questioned how did surrondings people's actions affect those who were going through pregnancy. This, including the answers in which your interviewees gave show that pregnancy and birth very much welcomes a support system, as it is a big deal and change in our lifetime. Overall great job!
Ally,
I'm apart of your new read blogs and comment them group. I read your HW 37 and liked your questions overall, especially the one asking what the interviewees did while they were pregnant and how they felt on a daily basis. It really gives you sort of an idea of what they were going through for those long 9 months. Great blog post!
HW 36- Pregnancy and Birth Stories
The first person I interviewed was my mother. She said the pregnancy of both of her kids were all worth the 9 months of changed lifestyle and change of self both physically and mentally. She says that pregnancy and birth is a beautiful thing and that it definitely gives life perspective and meaning because once you go through the experience of giving birth to a child and adding life to the world, you just feel that something special is happening.
I liked how my mom mentioned that once you give birth, you just feel that something special is happening. I think feeling that special moment is something sacred and that its more of a privilege to feel something as universal as the feeling of adding life to the world. Its something that can change your outlook in life and that you're unable to know how until it actually happens.
My second person I interviewed was my cousin. Unlike my mother, my cousin was actually pretty nervous during the majority of her pregnancy. Although she had our entire family as a support system, she still says she constantly was worried about how well she would fit in the society of motherhood. In addition to that, the physical and mental changes during pregnancy were things she didn't exactly adapt to easily. However, once her first child was born, she says that all the struggle and practical agony she had gone through for the majority of a year just seemed to vanish into thin air.
Similar to my cousin, a lot of women seem to go through a lot of struggle during the term of pregnancy. In fact, its almost essential to expect the worse is to come. But I admired when my cousin admitted that it was worth it in the end as her child was finally brought into the world because of what she had gone through. Its almost like the biggest reward for working hard.
The third person I decided to interview was another cousin of mine. However, to get a new perspective, I decided to interview a father of two boys. Beforehand, I thought this would be interesting because most people wouldn't think about the father's view of the whole scenario of pregnancy and birth. When asked about the births of his children, he flatly said that those were two of the best moments of his life.When recalling his sons separate birthdays, he recalls "feeling a feeling that was indescribable" and that hes thankful of his family even today.
My male cousin pushed that specific feeling pregnancy and birth even further as he recalled the day his sons were born. Its a feeling that's unforgettable and once in a lifetime (unless you have multiple kids).
These interviews gave me an opportunity to get a couple of inside perspectives of what goes on behind the curtain on the subject of birth. While it gives me thoughts and ideas, I still feel that I will never feel the feeling of what birth is all about until I'm married and am by her side as she brings a child into the world
I liked how my mom mentioned that once you give birth, you just feel that something special is happening. I think feeling that special moment is something sacred and that its more of a privilege to feel something as universal as the feeling of adding life to the world. Its something that can change your outlook in life and that you're unable to know how until it actually happens.
My second person I interviewed was my cousin. Unlike my mother, my cousin was actually pretty nervous during the majority of her pregnancy. Although she had our entire family as a support system, she still says she constantly was worried about how well she would fit in the society of motherhood. In addition to that, the physical and mental changes during pregnancy were things she didn't exactly adapt to easily. However, once her first child was born, she says that all the struggle and practical agony she had gone through for the majority of a year just seemed to vanish into thin air.
Similar to my cousin, a lot of women seem to go through a lot of struggle during the term of pregnancy. In fact, its almost essential to expect the worse is to come. But I admired when my cousin admitted that it was worth it in the end as her child was finally brought into the world because of what she had gone through. Its almost like the biggest reward for working hard.
The third person I decided to interview was another cousin of mine. However, to get a new perspective, I decided to interview a father of two boys. Beforehand, I thought this would be interesting because most people wouldn't think about the father's view of the whole scenario of pregnancy and birth. When asked about the births of his children, he flatly said that those were two of the best moments of his life.When recalling his sons separate birthdays, he recalls "feeling a feeling that was indescribable" and that hes thankful of his family even today.
My male cousin pushed that specific feeling pregnancy and birth even further as he recalled the day his sons were born. Its a feeling that's unforgettable and once in a lifetime (unless you have multiple kids).
These interviews gave me an opportunity to get a couple of inside perspectives of what goes on behind the curtain on the subject of birth. While it gives me thoughts and ideas, I still feel that I will never feel the feeling of what birth is all about until I'm married and am by her side as she brings a child into the world
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
HW 35 - Other Peoples' Perspectives 1
Here are people around my age's thoughts and perspectives about birth and the topics surronding it:
Anthony: Birth is most definitly a big deal man. Once you have a kid...you're fucked. haha, but seriously, having a baby is a life changing process. You are in crontrol of an additional life besides your own, how crazy is that? I also believe that the birth of a baby is something that is beautiful, and something that may even cannot be described.
Amanda: Birth is a beautiful thing. Not necessarily the sight of it but the idea of a complete innocent entering the world. When a baby is born, then they affect the lives of many people and can even grow...
I've had a couple of small talks on this topic with other people too and here's what I've seen. Birth, no matter what kind of POV people may have, is indeed a big deal. It's not just something you can slide to the side, its a life changing deal. In some cases, it can be a "beautiful thing", and other times, you can "be fucked". But in the end, birth is something thats very real and shouldn't be taken anything less than serious.
I'm sticking to my idea in class when i said that when a woman gets pregnant, she becomes precious, almost fragile being that she has a new life inside of her. She goes from being another person, to a sacred individual who should do nothing but take it easy and rest and have people wait on her at all times for the upcoming 9 months.
Anthony: Birth is most definitly a big deal man. Once you have a kid...you're fucked. haha, but seriously, having a baby is a life changing process. You are in crontrol of an additional life besides your own, how crazy is that? I also believe that the birth of a baby is something that is beautiful, and something that may even cannot be described.
Amanda: Birth is a beautiful thing. Not necessarily the sight of it but the idea of a complete innocent entering the world. When a baby is born, then they affect the lives of many people and can even grow...
I've had a couple of small talks on this topic with other people too and here's what I've seen. Birth, no matter what kind of POV people may have, is indeed a big deal. It's not just something you can slide to the side, its a life changing deal. In some cases, it can be a "beautiful thing", and other times, you can "be fucked". But in the end, birth is something thats very real and shouldn't be taken anything less than serious.
I'm sticking to my idea in class when i said that when a woman gets pregnant, she becomes precious, almost fragile being that she has a new life inside of her. She goes from being another person, to a sacred individual who should do nothing but take it easy and rest and have people wait on her at all times for the upcoming 9 months.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Extra Credit for Semester
Luckily for me, my mother happens to work in a senior center, where she does multiple jobs such as conference calls, coordinating activities, being a chaperone on multiple field trips, etc. I usually go to my moms job at least once a week and I have also interned there last year. I know most of the seniors there either personally or through my mother. Now knowing the atmosphere of this particular senior center and having to connect it to the Illness and Dying unit, it comes as a challenge because this senior center is actually the opposite of what you'd expect a senior center to be.
Being in this place with a bunch of retired seniors, you would think from no previous experience that being in there would be nothing more than depressing, but that's not the case at all. In fact, the majority of the seniors in this venter just so happen to be legit happy people. This center provides multiple activities for the seniors to take part in. There's yoga, arts and crafts, movie days, various games, among many other things. SO it's no surprise to me that as I walk through this center, I see nothing but old, smiling faces.
The Illness and Dying unit had us explore what goes through a typical human mind and life when Illness and Death is forced into our lives. How does it change us emotionally, physically, mentally? What can we do to stop these negative things from happening? Do we fear Illness? Death? For me to go into this senior center, especially after going through this unit, I would think that with my new mindset, I would really see past these elders and see their actual sadness deep down inside. But honestly, I saw none whatsoever.
Then I got to thinking, sadness and sorrow doesn't have to be the only way to deal with Ilness, Dying or both for that matter. In fact, duing the unit we read a book that relates to these topics called "Tuesdays with Morrie". Of the many lessons I got out of this book, there's a quote that really grabbed me that I believe ALL people should live by. This quote makes me understand why these seniors are not sad and depressed about Dying, but are actually the complete opposite. The quote is " If you learn how to Die, you learn how to Live". This quote really did get my attention. It made me realize that fearing death takes so much negative energy and time that it can actually steal away quality time you have in your life. It made me relaize why these seniors are happy and are enjoying their lives without even giving too much serious thought to Illness and Dying. What these seniors and what that quote has proved to me even further, is that we all need to just live our lives and take on Illness and Dying full on IF it comes, God forbidding.
Being in this place with a bunch of retired seniors, you would think from no previous experience that being in there would be nothing more than depressing, but that's not the case at all. In fact, the majority of the seniors in this venter just so happen to be legit happy people. This center provides multiple activities for the seniors to take part in. There's yoga, arts and crafts, movie days, various games, among many other things. SO it's no surprise to me that as I walk through this center, I see nothing but old, smiling faces.
The Illness and Dying unit had us explore what goes through a typical human mind and life when Illness and Death is forced into our lives. How does it change us emotionally, physically, mentally? What can we do to stop these negative things from happening? Do we fear Illness? Death? For me to go into this senior center, especially after going through this unit, I would think that with my new mindset, I would really see past these elders and see their actual sadness deep down inside. But honestly, I saw none whatsoever.
Then I got to thinking, sadness and sorrow doesn't have to be the only way to deal with Ilness, Dying or both for that matter. In fact, duing the unit we read a book that relates to these topics called "Tuesdays with Morrie". Of the many lessons I got out of this book, there's a quote that really grabbed me that I believe ALL people should live by. This quote makes me understand why these seniors are not sad and depressed about Dying, but are actually the complete opposite. The quote is " If you learn how to Die, you learn how to Live". This quote really did get my attention. It made me realize that fearing death takes so much negative energy and time that it can actually steal away quality time you have in your life. It made me relaize why these seniors are happy and are enjoying their lives without even giving too much serious thought to Illness and Dying. What these seniors and what that quote has proved to me even further, is that we all need to just live our lives and take on Illness and Dying full on IF it comes, God forbidding.
HW 32 - Thoughts following illness & dying unit
To be honest, this Illness and Dying unit will probably be one of the very few units I keep with me that came from my time in school. This unit to me should be like everything else we learn in school, meaning that it actually matters. I mean, if something I'm learning is never going to be involved in my life ever again, why get myself involved with it in the first place?
This was a unit that deepened not only my learning, but as well as the topic itself of Illness and Dying. I felt like I was able to not only gain alot, but i was also able to share my own personal knowledge based on actual life experiences.
To me, although school overall is still very imporatnt, there is times (majority of time actually) that I dont see the point of many units in all 4 of the subjects I take. However, illness and Dying was a unit I most definilty enjoyed learning in.
This was a unit that deepened not only my learning, but as well as the topic itself of Illness and Dying. I felt like I was able to not only gain alot, but i was also able to share my own personal knowledge based on actual life experiences.
To me, although school overall is still very imporatnt, there is times (majority of time actually) that I dont see the point of many units in all 4 of the subjects I take. However, illness and Dying was a unit I most definilty enjoyed learning in.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
HW 30 RE-DO
After hearing half our class share 2 minute speechs about what their project was about, I feel as thoigh my own project's topic may have been a bit off. So if this case is true, I would like to change my topic to sharing memories of being in the environment of a nursing home when I was younger.
My mom works in a senior center and sometimes, she makes house calls to a select few. When I was younger, my mother had a senior she would visit and care for at a nursing home. The senior's name was Wilma. I believe she was in her late 80's. While so was a very nice woman, i hated hearing from my mom on the days where I would have to tag along with her to the nursing home because after only one or two visits, i DESPISED it.
The smells, the sounds, everything that the nursing home contained I just didn't like. When my mom would buy me an after school snack on the way to the nursing home, I would make it my misssion to completly finish eating before we arrived because I didn't have the strength to eat ANYTHING when inside.
The seniors are really the only people I didn't have a problem with. All of them were nice and always had good things to say to me and my sister, since we were the youngest kids in there, or better yet the ONLY kids. I guess the Grand mother/father charm got turned on whenever they saw us. I remember there was always one lady in a wheelchair that would always say "God bless you children" everytime we arrived and left the home. I also remember being creeped out, but at the same time amused by this one old man. He always walked back and forth in the long hallway, ALWAYS. I never saw him sit down, eat meals, talk, nothing other than walk back and forth.
While I did mention that the people were nice, I just had a feeling of sadness whenever I was in there. Being on the outside of the nursing home felt like I was really far away. Once I entered, it was as if I was entering a new world. These seniors, they were old, weak, and helpless. They relied on the nurses for everything. It was just a sad place. I always felt like I was being punished on days i would have to go with my mom, although that wasn't the case as I was very young at the time.
Overall, these multiple visits gave me a first glabce on what nursing homes are like and what kind of people end up there. It pretty much relates to Illness and Dying because these people, they're either sick or close to their time of passing. While death is indeed not planned (in my opinion), you almost looked at these seniors and felt like they knew exactly when their time was coming, and that made me most sad.
My mom works in a senior center and sometimes, she makes house calls to a select few. When I was younger, my mother had a senior she would visit and care for at a nursing home. The senior's name was Wilma. I believe she was in her late 80's. While so was a very nice woman, i hated hearing from my mom on the days where I would have to tag along with her to the nursing home because after only one or two visits, i DESPISED it.
The smells, the sounds, everything that the nursing home contained I just didn't like. When my mom would buy me an after school snack on the way to the nursing home, I would make it my misssion to completly finish eating before we arrived because I didn't have the strength to eat ANYTHING when inside.
The seniors are really the only people I didn't have a problem with. All of them were nice and always had good things to say to me and my sister, since we were the youngest kids in there, or better yet the ONLY kids. I guess the Grand mother/father charm got turned on whenever they saw us. I remember there was always one lady in a wheelchair that would always say "God bless you children" everytime we arrived and left the home. I also remember being creeped out, but at the same time amused by this one old man. He always walked back and forth in the long hallway, ALWAYS. I never saw him sit down, eat meals, talk, nothing other than walk back and forth.
While I did mention that the people were nice, I just had a feeling of sadness whenever I was in there. Being on the outside of the nursing home felt like I was really far away. Once I entered, it was as if I was entering a new world. These seniors, they were old, weak, and helpless. They relied on the nurses for everything. It was just a sad place. I always felt like I was being punished on days i would have to go with my mom, although that wasn't the case as I was very young at the time.
Overall, these multiple visits gave me a first glabce on what nursing homes are like and what kind of people end up there. It pretty much relates to Illness and Dying because these people, they're either sick or close to their time of passing. While death is indeed not planned (in my opinion), you almost looked at these seniors and felt like they knew exactly when their time was coming, and that made me most sad.
Friday, January 14, 2011
HW 30 - Illness & Dying - Culminating Experiential Project
My original topic was supposed to be based upon interviewing people ablut their past/present issues with Health Insurance. Being that we have studied the topic with resources such as Michael Moore's "Sicko", I felt like it could've been an interestng project. Unfortunatly, I was unable to find anyone to interview within the given time. So instead, I will talk about experiences (including my own) about what people go through after losing someone to Death.
You would genrally think that when it comes to Sickness and Death, the worst of the pain and suffering goes to the persons who are actually sick and dying. While that is very true, they aren't the only ones suffering. Their loved ones have to go through watching helplessly as an important person in their lives is pretty much going through hell.
I personally have lost multiple relatives and have gone through the process of seeing them sick and eventualy pass. My grandmother on my fathers side had cancer when I was finishing middle school. I didn't really see her too much growing up, but I did see her enough to acknowledge her as a close relative. I remember going to her house all the way out in Pennslyvania, where she had a huge 7 bedroom, split level house. I remember her being pretty much a stereotypical grandmother to me: spoling me in every way, making delicious meals, making me feel safe, warm and welcome in her house. Although I kind of reduced contact with her as I got older, she was still my grandmother, and I still loved her. My father satme down one day and told me that grandma had cancer. I didn't know what to do with this news. All I knew was that he was taking my sister and I out to Pennslyvania for the first time in years to have somewhat of a reunion with my grandmother. I was sonfused, nervous, and overall anxious to finally see my grandmother again. But when I saw her, i wasn't prepared for what I was about to see.
NOTE: In society, the happening of Death and Illness can indeed change a person emotionally and menally. It dominates your mind and can change your process of thought. Death can be thought of as the stopping of life not only for the vitim, but for the victims loved ones surronding them in their lives.
My dad, sister and I walked into the sad, blank hospital room. And on the bed, was a lady, looking very sick, who was deep in her sleep. I was shocked to discover as I got closer that this woman was indeed my grandmother. I was completly shocked. She lost a LOT of weight and had a grey complextion. When my dad lightly shook her to wake her up, it seemed to be a struggle for her to even open her eyes. My dad then motioned for me and my sister to say hi and to hug her. I honeslty felt like I was hugging a complete stranger. I didn't feel like this was my grandmother. My grandmother was always moving around, had a high, positive tone in her voice, this lady in the hospital bed just couldn't be my grandma, but she was. After a lengthy visit, my dad took me and my sister back to my grandmother's house where we would be staying the night. Just like seeing my grandmother earlier, just being in the house didn't have that same warm and safe feeling that it did years back. After getting settled and having dinner, we went to bed.
NOTE: This is showing that sickness dominates a person menatally and physically. Some sicknesses are indeed worse than others. Those that are worse, in this case cancer, completly changed my grandmother physically and I could imagine mentally too. Illness invades your body, your health, your mind and you Life.
Before we were to head back home to New York, we stopped by the hospital one last time. I was better composed this time, as I knew what to expect to see. My grandmother looked like she didn't even move an inch from the posistion she was in the day before. AFter staying there for a while watching my dad talk to his mother, we said our goodbyes and headed back home. This whole experience definitly got me to see sickness in a different way. It complelty transformed my grandmother. I hoped that this was only scary, confusing experience I was going to go through, but I was wrong.
A month or so later, my dad sat me down for a second time. I had a feeling this was about grandma, since she was the topic at our last sitdown talk. However, the news this time around was that my grandmother had passed away. WHAT??!! That was my initial reaction. I just couldn't believe it. My grandmother was no longer on this Earth with me. I just didn't know how to take it. While this was happening, my dad informed me that we would be returning to Pennslyvania to attend her funeral. Once again, I was confused and nervous before and during the second road trip back to PA. All I kept thinking about was where exactly was my grandmother. Is she in Heaven? Is she still on her way there or did she get there already? Is she ok? Can she see me and hear my thoughts? Does she know that regardless of lost contact, that I still love her? ALl this thinking killed some time and eventually made the trip seem quicker and before I knew it, we were there. We first went to my grandmother's house, where we were greeted by my dads brothers; my uncles who I also lost contact with. They went on about how big me and my sister had gotten. AFter some catching up and planning with my dad and my uncles, we were off to the funeral parlor.
We arived in this spooky, quiet funeral parlor, which to me was pretty much like a haunted house. We were greetd by an old man who I guess was the coordinator there. He escorted all o us into this small room. All I saw were chairs facing me. And with one swift turn, I was startled at what I saw. The same lady who apprently was my grandmother who I saw in a hospital bed weeks ago, was laying down in a coffin. My eyes were opened wide to the max. My mouth, dropped. I just couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. I looked around the room and saw that the rest of my family were pretty much having the same reaction as I was. When I built up enough courage, I slowly stepped up close to the coffin where my grandmother was fast asleep. I studided her blank, white face, and to me she looked as though she could open her eyes and this all could've been a joke or something (a pretty sick joke at that). But deep down, I've come to understand that this was no joke, no dream, it was very real. AFter a few days of spending practically our whole time in the parlor, seeing my grandmother's friends and loved ones come pay their respects, and going through a very emotional funeral, it was time to once again go home, only this time, I wouldn't come back to my grandmother, back to her warm safe house. This was it.
NOTE: This shows the domination of a funeral parlor and other settings that surrond itself with Death. It's almost as if Death is another world in itself. Death and Illness is the line in the sand between society/reality and this mysterious other world (Death).
The sickness and death of my grandmother was the first time I lost a relative and was aware of it. I was feeling these new feelings for the first time. I was feeling sorrow, confususion, even a little gulit. This experience, although sad, was good for me. It opened my eyes to a huge part ofLife, which is Death. It made me appreciate my life more. Every year when I ride all the way to Pennslyvania to pay respects to my grandmother's grave, I remember the whole process I went through. Even when she was sick and eventually passed away, my grandma taught me a lesson I will always hold close to me. It's that you only have one life, and that you should always make the most of it. Chase your dreas, meet as many people as you can, make your loved ones know that you indeed love them, and just LIVE your LIFE.
You would genrally think that when it comes to Sickness and Death, the worst of the pain and suffering goes to the persons who are actually sick and dying. While that is very true, they aren't the only ones suffering. Their loved ones have to go through watching helplessly as an important person in their lives is pretty much going through hell.
I personally have lost multiple relatives and have gone through the process of seeing them sick and eventualy pass. My grandmother on my fathers side had cancer when I was finishing middle school. I didn't really see her too much growing up, but I did see her enough to acknowledge her as a close relative. I remember going to her house all the way out in Pennslyvania, where she had a huge 7 bedroom, split level house. I remember her being pretty much a stereotypical grandmother to me: spoling me in every way, making delicious meals, making me feel safe, warm and welcome in her house. Although I kind of reduced contact with her as I got older, she was still my grandmother, and I still loved her. My father satme down one day and told me that grandma had cancer. I didn't know what to do with this news. All I knew was that he was taking my sister and I out to Pennslyvania for the first time in years to have somewhat of a reunion with my grandmother. I was sonfused, nervous, and overall anxious to finally see my grandmother again. But when I saw her, i wasn't prepared for what I was about to see.
NOTE: In society, the happening of Death and Illness can indeed change a person emotionally and menally. It dominates your mind and can change your process of thought. Death can be thought of as the stopping of life not only for the vitim, but for the victims loved ones surronding them in their lives.
My dad, sister and I walked into the sad, blank hospital room. And on the bed, was a lady, looking very sick, who was deep in her sleep. I was shocked to discover as I got closer that this woman was indeed my grandmother. I was completly shocked. She lost a LOT of weight and had a grey complextion. When my dad lightly shook her to wake her up, it seemed to be a struggle for her to even open her eyes. My dad then motioned for me and my sister to say hi and to hug her. I honeslty felt like I was hugging a complete stranger. I didn't feel like this was my grandmother. My grandmother was always moving around, had a high, positive tone in her voice, this lady in the hospital bed just couldn't be my grandma, but she was. After a lengthy visit, my dad took me and my sister back to my grandmother's house where we would be staying the night. Just like seeing my grandmother earlier, just being in the house didn't have that same warm and safe feeling that it did years back. After getting settled and having dinner, we went to bed.
NOTE: This is showing that sickness dominates a person menatally and physically. Some sicknesses are indeed worse than others. Those that are worse, in this case cancer, completly changed my grandmother physically and I could imagine mentally too. Illness invades your body, your health, your mind and you Life.
Before we were to head back home to New York, we stopped by the hospital one last time. I was better composed this time, as I knew what to expect to see. My grandmother looked like she didn't even move an inch from the posistion she was in the day before. AFter staying there for a while watching my dad talk to his mother, we said our goodbyes and headed back home. This whole experience definitly got me to see sickness in a different way. It complelty transformed my grandmother. I hoped that this was only scary, confusing experience I was going to go through, but I was wrong.
A month or so later, my dad sat me down for a second time. I had a feeling this was about grandma, since she was the topic at our last sitdown talk. However, the news this time around was that my grandmother had passed away. WHAT??!! That was my initial reaction. I just couldn't believe it. My grandmother was no longer on this Earth with me. I just didn't know how to take it. While this was happening, my dad informed me that we would be returning to Pennslyvania to attend her funeral. Once again, I was confused and nervous before and during the second road trip back to PA. All I kept thinking about was where exactly was my grandmother. Is she in Heaven? Is she still on her way there or did she get there already? Is she ok? Can she see me and hear my thoughts? Does she know that regardless of lost contact, that I still love her? ALl this thinking killed some time and eventually made the trip seem quicker and before I knew it, we were there. We first went to my grandmother's house, where we were greeted by my dads brothers; my uncles who I also lost contact with. They went on about how big me and my sister had gotten. AFter some catching up and planning with my dad and my uncles, we were off to the funeral parlor.
We arived in this spooky, quiet funeral parlor, which to me was pretty much like a haunted house. We were greetd by an old man who I guess was the coordinator there. He escorted all o us into this small room. All I saw were chairs facing me. And with one swift turn, I was startled at what I saw. The same lady who apprently was my grandmother who I saw in a hospital bed weeks ago, was laying down in a coffin. My eyes were opened wide to the max. My mouth, dropped. I just couldn't comprehend what I was seeing. I looked around the room and saw that the rest of my family were pretty much having the same reaction as I was. When I built up enough courage, I slowly stepped up close to the coffin where my grandmother was fast asleep. I studided her blank, white face, and to me she looked as though she could open her eyes and this all could've been a joke or something (a pretty sick joke at that). But deep down, I've come to understand that this was no joke, no dream, it was very real. AFter a few days of spending practically our whole time in the parlor, seeing my grandmother's friends and loved ones come pay their respects, and going through a very emotional funeral, it was time to once again go home, only this time, I wouldn't come back to my grandmother, back to her warm safe house. This was it.
NOTE: This shows the domination of a funeral parlor and other settings that surrond itself with Death. It's almost as if Death is another world in itself. Death and Illness is the line in the sand between society/reality and this mysterious other world (Death).
The sickness and death of my grandmother was the first time I lost a relative and was aware of it. I was feeling these new feelings for the first time. I was feeling sorrow, confususion, even a little gulit. This experience, although sad, was good for me. It opened my eyes to a huge part ofLife, which is Death. It made me appreciate my life more. Every year when I ride all the way to Pennslyvania to pay respects to my grandmother's grave, I remember the whole process I went through. Even when she was sick and eventually passed away, my grandma taught me a lesson I will always hold close to me. It's that you only have one life, and that you should always make the most of it. Chase your dreas, meet as many people as you can, make your loved ones know that you indeed love them, and just LIVE your LIFE.
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